Monday, March 8, 2010

Silencing the landslide of cultural messages








Sally Clarkson is the author of the book 'Educating the Wholehearted Child' among many others.
I visited her blog this morning and found an excellent article about imagination in children & reasons for play. No surprise television is a part of the discussion. (Again, I'm carefully limiting my book purchases this year, but this one is on the way.)


About twice a year, I take the tv out of the room. I clear it out, I fantasize about smashing. I say it outloud. I read books like 'Bringing up Boy's' who advocate it, knowing what little there is good on it. But I find this last for a while, even months, before we find it's illumination filling our time.

And a quick by the way, I appreciate comments that mention parenting from a position of authority in early childhood, and more from a position of influence, from Amy @ Homestead Revival. And Thy Hand's comments about the perpetual revolving door.

I mentioned in this post, that Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys, mentions the landslide of influence on our family's and children. In Chapter 14, titled Predators, an article is included written by Ellen Goodman, a secular writer for the Boston Globe/Washington Post, copywrited in 2000. It describes why parents who are often perceived as overly concerned about media or influences in the community shouldn't back down.

..." Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a researach associate at the Institute for
American values, found this out in interviews with middle-class parents. " A common complaint I heard from parents was their sense of being overwhelmed by the culture. they felt relatively more helpless than their parents."

' "Parents," she notes, "see themselves in a struggle for the hearts and
minds of their own children." It isn't that they can't say no. It's that
there's so much more to say no to." '

"Without wallowing in false nostalgia, there has been a fundamental shift.
Americans once expected parents to raise their children in accordance with the dominant cultural messages. Today they are expected to raise their children in opposition."



Dobson goes on to write 'It's why parents feel more isolated.'


Ouch. Isn't that the truth. It automatically puts you at odds, when you step out of the mainstream, so not to be swept away. And being at odds or doing 'it'(life) differently can be a little lonely sometimes. Whether it's food, clothes, entertainment, worship...





But it's in those lonely times, the quiet, silent times, that meditation, not the emptying of the mind in a zen like experience, but the quietness that allows the filling of the mind with the Creator's original hope: to hear Him. Ann describes at A Holy Experience, how we live more reactively when we are constantly in the presence of noise. When you are accustomed to noise, & your children are accustomed to noise, it can be a tough transition. But one well worth it. It's where real strength to fight the current is found. Yes, reading all the books that support the family & wholesomeness are great learning tools, but in grounding our walk with Him is where we find the fortitude & reason to go to all the effort. Grounding ourselves so that when we suffer loneliness or weakness, we'll perservere, and continue to build character which leads to something hoped for that doesn't disappoint.





Romans 5:3-6





verse 6, '... when we were powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.'





Thanks be to God for silent moments. And a Hope that doesn't disappoint.





Visit A Holy Experience for more thoughts on the spiritual practice of silence.
This is an excellent link to visit. Those who contribute also have much to offer. Every Wednesday there are those who gather to share their thoughts helping them grow closer to God.

5 comments:

Lisa notes... said...

I'm so thankful for quiet moments, too, and for the Hope that never disappoints. It is sometimes hard to step out of the mainstream, but it is worth it when we are filled with Him as a result. Thank you for sharing your heart today. Good stuff!

Unknown said...

Great post, Laura! I totally agree with that statement that where we once were expected to parent within the dominate cultural message, now we must swim upstream against the message of the majority. Even in the church I've seen a significant slide to "be like the world". It is so tempting!

Last year, my husband and I decided to sit AS A FAMILY and watch American Idol because all the kids friends were watching. Good Christian friends! About two episodes in, I realized that this was not a good decision on our part. We started using tivo and I would preview the episodes and let them only watch portions or skip entire episodes depending on what was on that week. By the end of the season, despite our careful monitoring, all my two little girls could talk about was Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert, and whoever the young man was who won. Even after the season was over, this continued as a dominate theme.

It saddened my heart that the conversations were no longer about discoveries outside, books they had read, or something else about real life. I learned a big lesson not to doubt my original impression that this was not a good idea. Yes, the children will grow up and move on to things other than imaginative play, but we cut it short by allowing the TV to invade our homes and minds.

We still have the TV, but NO Am. Idol this year. And I've gone back to no TV on weeknights, only DVD's on the weekend, and some news for mom and dad occasionally - usually after they are in bed. My conviction is renewed to fight upstream once more!
(Sorry this is so long - I got on my soap box with you!)

Laura at By the Bushel said...

'in the church'... that's what is amazing. I blend in too much to the world, and I realize my peers/brothers & sisters in Christ, like myself have an ecclectic, elective approach to virtue. Again, I say, like myself.
Thanks Lisa & Amy for your comments. I'm so thankful for blog friends, swimming upstream with me!

Annesta said...

Laura, you have written a very thought provoking and serious post. I would like to encourage you ladies as you seek to follow your convictions in raising your children. Mine are 26 and 23 so we have left that season behind.
I can tell by what you write that you are working very hard to bring up godly children in the word.
I especially like the way you say that you read all the books but ultimately you turn to THE book for wisdom and guidance. I can tell that you allow the Holy Spirit to be your primary teacher in this business of nurturing and teaching your children.
Blessings to you
~a

Roan said...

Great post!
I really like all of Sally Clarkson's books. I have read and reread both Mission of Motherhood and Ministry of Motherhood many times!

Have a great day!

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