Sunday, March 7, 2010

'Livin' in a Van Down by the River' -aka How did I get here and who are all these children?


It's Sunday morning early, so I'm looking for the next reading for the season of Lent. (my small devotion book pictured in this post - 'Devotions for Lent) is in the bedroom, where Jack is snuggled in the bed asleep. zzzzz


So I wandered over to visit Edie at Life in Grace to see what she'd posted about today as she is a worshipper who serves God through the appointed seasons of the Lutheran church. Like myself, she doesn't follow a pattern of posts, I wish I could have a simple train of thought sometimes, actually do a weekly post of sorts, but that's just not my style. My blog is for me to ramble about what I'm thinking about, and to keep me accountable. If you post it... there will be readers and they'll comment and then... well you know what happens... you are blessed with blogger friends who you will meet at the blogging bee. And you'll start chatting about what's really on your heart. And you'll be blessed because you took a little big of time out of your day to sit with kindred spirits, sharing, sewing, fooding, spiriting.


Anyway, Edie has a wonderful way of sharing moments in her life, like so many of you bloggers out there. She is a SAHM who homeschools, but she also, as she mentions in her fish-taco post, sometimes she feels like Chris Farley 'livin in a van down by the river'. It's an old SNL skit, where he rants on and on to his nephew & niece about 'this could happen to you' if you don't stay and school and follow your dreams. To hear a woman tell she's walked away from a medical practice to stay at home with her kids, somehow makes me feel like what I walked away from was worth it too. I don't miss working, but I do miss the mental stimulation sometimes, the order, the easy parts of working outside the home. (don't miss the recipe/picts of the fish tacos).


I've been reading '7 Habits of the Highly Effective Family' and it has really, really struck a cord with me on several things. ---


In one of the chapters, there is a discussion about fitting the former paradigm of the traditional home into the modern arrangment & modern core values. I think I said that right. If you are a mom & dad who choose to follow the traditional mom stay at home, dad works outside home pattern, you will face some truly challenging odds. Per the book, not just me saying. (Dobson's quote regarding this 'landslide' to follow in later post).


It has been thoroughly interesting being a part of a book club reading this. These ladies are diggin in to make their families better, more effective. Not militant, but getting tools to fight the wave of modern assault on the family. I feel it? Don't you?


There are times it is so hard, challenging, I who swore I'd live in a box, before I'd go back to work when my kids were young, have wondered what kind of teaching position I could get, today, right now, immediately. Do you ever read the postings on Monster? I at least read the local teaching/education section. I've probably read the want ads every week since I was 15.


But I don't ever call, or send my resume. Because I see the wave coming crashing at my familiy. I see the importance of stepping up to the plate. I see the inadequacies of parents, including myself, to enable our children for holiness. The voices in the world are so loud and so blaring, so visually stimulating, so charged with that which I would not have them to hear or see. But I have to spend the time it takes, with a heart that is invested, for them to actually hear my voice. God says that those that love Him, hear his voice. Like sheep know the shepherds voice. I think my kids know my voice, they know my snap. I can snap across a room and their heads at least pop up. But instead of a threat of punishment, I wish for them to do my will, when it comply's with what God desires, because it will disappoint me if they don't, not because of fear of punishment. That their heart will be saddened & that they will choose a better way not out of fear but of a desire to do what's right. I think this comes with age, but children are all different in disposition (it actually really annoys me when I hear parents say this, because I feel like it's a cop out for not having children follow any expected standards).


I've ordered a new book, 'Educating the Whole Hearted Child' in hopes that I will work on my parenting to consider the heart of my children. I have been a huge John Rosemond fan, and don't doubt his work when it comes to effectively dealing with children. But I'm always left with a less loving feeling when I read through it. I don't doubt because I've seen results using his materials. But I can be a bit abrupt in my parenting, disciplining, training. I can quote his stuff, but I need to be able to quote, in my head for purposes different than compliance, other material, that addresses the heart. I have also pulled out my Dobson book, Bringing up Boys.


I found this post at Diligently Seeking God for today(the daily devotion I'm following this year) spoke volumes to me about that quasi place obedience for love or fear. It is a beautiful thought provoking post. God will not lead us where He won't light the way.... I hope you look there with me, and gain a blessing for yourself.
May God bless you and me in our efforts to serve Him by serving our families- this week, as always. I've enjoyed this little chat at the blogging bee! Be sure to go over and visit... there are some really smart gals who visit Homestead Revival. Be sure to stop by.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh, those tacos look GOOD! Thanks for participating in the blogging bee! I hope to do it each Saturday for a while and see how it goes.

Parenting does eventually work to where you parent from authority to parenting from influence. I've seen the transition begin to happen around Jr. High, but really it starts to flourish in High School - IF you have established your authority in a loving manner first, then spent time in the trenches training, eventually you can coach from the sidelines and influence your children through your relationship. It's a long haul, but trust me, when they are graduating from high school (like my oldest is this year), you realize it went WAY TOO FAST!!!

Jane D. said...

Lovely post Laura, as you may have noticed I am a rather random blogger too, just going with the flow and as you said trying to keep myself accountable. I think your efforts towards educating yourself about all aspects of parenting is brilliant. Well done x.

The Unlikely Homeschooler said...

Obviously a totally random blogger here and for some reason lately although I have tons of pictures of things we've been up to.....I've still not taken the time to blog....hmm.. I'm thinking LAZY blogger is a better description of me ;-)
I'm with you on Edie's blog. Love it!!

Leslie said...

Educating the Whole Hearted Child was one of the first homeschooling books I read some 13 or so years ago that really helped me form a vision of what our home life could look like. It was probably the most influential book for me just because it was so practical and it spurred on my thinking and hoping.

I enjoyed your post even though I am not sure how I got here. :)

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