Jekyll Island and Valentines - February 2025

Our first visit to Jekyll Island fooled us. A storm had kicked up the waves and we believed we'd found our happiest beach destination. If you know the Georgia Coast, this is quite a wrong impression. It's usually brown and brackish, unpleasant waters with few waves. The view is beautiful, the culture and conveniences delightful, but not a crashing gulf or southern Atlantic tide. 

Fortunately, we are not married to our vacation destinations, AND we are to our spouses. Eric & I were late to our generation's expectation of age-of-marriage. 30 & 31, some of our family believed we never would, but we did. We tied the knot, 3 months after being engaged. We were both gun-shy but I knew he was a good man. My dad did too. They had a proverbial man-to-man and he told my Dad he would be faithful and always take care of me. Dad had good intuition. 

Realtor Prom, Winter 2025 Sanford Stadium, UGA

Eric kept his word. We, together, have kept our vows, commitment to stay together when the path always didn't seem clear. He has been generous with his gifts and talents and made our world one that is enviable. I am forever grateful our paths crossed and intertwined the way they did. 

Here's to however many more years we are allowed to share. Be mine, forever, sweet man. I'm here for it. 

Who Taught You to Be a Boy-Mom? April 2021

When life was passing out kids, I never saw boys in my future. I never had any idea what that future would look like beyond baby -hood. Naive. Oh, I'd  read every book, I'd even taught boys, exclusively, at all boys schools. But somehow I made it out of those experiences with NO CLUE.  The intensity and apathy, the fierce nature and the emotional capacity of a boy. The maleness of the persons in my house. 

My Dad was exceptional in many ways, but most will remember that his vast (seriously vast) wisdom came from the miles he' d spent reading. Reading every book, all the books, and then some more books. He had a favorite home-town sports team, yet the major sporting events on television were usually eclipsed by the PBS adaptation of a popular classic book. Quiet. Calm, even in adversity, stillness and patience are my memories of Dad's parenting style. 

Enter Drake. Drake's objective was to break my mom's will by 10:00 in the morning. He dressed like Daniel Boone expecting even his teachers to call him 'Daniel' in the classroom. I was every character who enhanced Daniel's profile when we played in our backyard on Buckeye Road. It was my playhouse Dad had built that was sabotaged with B'Lou's fireworks and then rescued by Daniel. 

We watched him jump like Evil Kinevel in the  '70's and watched him stomp through the grass  down to the creek passing cotton mouth snakes to play 'lookout' or just dig in the bank.  While I set up house in the abandoned chicken coop, Drake was creating adventures fortified with every conceivable challenge available in our wildish places. 

Sara Owen's Bridal Luncheon, Memphis, TN 2021
Daughters on Back row, 'Steele Magnolia's' on Front -Just missing Gwen

Last week, I sat at a table of celebration  with other 'boymoms' - those who face the brave frontier of parenting in the post-modern world. The measures of safety and fearful things out there are only complicated by our unique children. I mention these ladies because they all knew Drake and I when we were young, when we were those wild kids, when they were those wild kids. We are all facing the new world, this challenging often times, soul-less time in parenting. There was alot of  'sharing' that usually happens in later hours of the night, but we knew our time was short. We told of successes, we told of sorrows, we told of things we never dreamed we'd be offering our kids as bribes, and that we'd actually tried to bribe them to do and be what we wanted or hoped. Some were holding back. The story is still too hard to tell- yet. 

But, we gazed sideways and looked at our mother's, - the YaYa's, the 'Deaconess's,' -the 'Steele Magnolia's' of our lives, and savored a moment that may never come again. We were reminded of the mothers who taught us to dig in, hunker down, and be the best parent you could be through un-numbered and often unimaginable circumstances. It was my mom who sewed the stripes on Evil's pants when he made those death defying jumps, and it was my mom who sewed a real squirrels tail on the back of Daniel's coon skin hat. It was my mom who prayed as he ventured away towards the cotton mouth covered creek and didn't beg him to stay close to home. 

Leaving Sacramento  Photo taken in Neal and Nancy Sullivan's home

Drake was not a 'prodigal,' but the lessons found in that story from Scripture are, at times, a part of any parents arsenal.  Once not too long ago, I googled,  how to love a prodigal son. The first thing to come up was from 'Focus on the Family,' a Biblically based organization, that I would consider for sound, solid advice. The first answer -- 'let him go.' 

'let him go'

There comes a point in parenting where the roots must do the work of tethering to the early guidance given. The guidance we may give after that point will only be a roaring in their ears, repelling them away. 

So what can I do? What should I do? One foundational thing is shoring up my own life, and catching up on my personal growth and maintenance that's fallen by the wayside. 

Secondly, be available when the kids show back up- be available to talk, be confident in who I am, WHOSE I am. There's a part of both the  prodigal and the older brother in all children, in every person. That 'letting them go' doesn't mean they don't come back, or that they don't watch the other leave.  Strength in the Eternal Power that sustains our faith when they are little, will feed the next season of parenting, and in an altogether stronger way. For we'll be looking back to the roots and wings that sustained us too. I'm so thankful when I look back, I see the  Steel Magnolia's - 'The Sisters.' Between them, they've raised Real Estate Leaders, Corporate Leaders, Photographers, Airplane Pilots, Obstetricians, Teachers,  Research Scientists, Architects, Dentists, Chefs,  Bronze Star Recipients, Track Coaches, Historians, Entrepreneurs, Mothers and Fathers, both- parents of every type of child, with every type of struggle or interest.  Their collective history is beautifully intertwined  elements of sorrow and success, but they've always, always been there for each other, and on their own, persevered in ways beyond comprehension. Like the other daughters, I've been watching and remembering, my mother didn't bow to every changing wind, but moved to meet the challenges of family, confidence in the Lord, and relying on her friends and community to be strong enough for that day's challenges. 

Thirdly-- Today is Dad's birthday. While we would celebrate him, he would turn the camera lens to Mom, and say how proud he is of her. Drake and I both knew and continue to know how Dad prioritized his relationship with Mom, and she visa-versa. While their affection for each other was never up for question, they are not super human. They had their share of lack of agreement over many, many things. But their marriage to each other was first in the family. I remember the vows he would request of many a bride and groom during the wedding ceremony he might conduct. There was always a point made that there would come a day when the deceiver would present a stumbling block. But I remember most the idea of laying down one's life, daily, not in a grand gesture, but with each thought for the other. 

 1966, Mom and Drake  in Sierra Nevada's - Dad's taking the Photo

Drake and Mom, Memphis January 2021

It would seem that the best things in life, do not happen over night. There is no magic wand for the 'boy-mom,' or for any childhood. The good, the best things are a slow progression of attention to details, acted out over a lifetime. Occasionally, we see a glimpse into the outcome, celebrating a moment in our collective history,  a triumph. I celebrate the beauty of these friendships, and their gumption. I hope for another birthday lunch for these fun souls, and strength anew each day, while we live out this mortal thing called life. Celebrate, redeem the time, live. Repeat.  

I'll take it. 

Daffodils and Atomic Habits ~ February-April 2020

The daffodils came and went in the blur of February and March. The were stunning though. They are God's surprise when you think you can't take one more bleak day of winter. Their fragrance is incomparable. Their color and diverse shapes so unique. 
In the month of February, I determined to use my kindle more. I've been working through some  habit building non-fiction and found it easier to complete if I used the electronic platform. While there I actually downloaded a copy of British Edition, Country Living, which included a full feature on daffodils. Packed full of loveliness, it is almost as good as having the hardcopy.  A last thought about daffodils: It is a unique effort to have a field of daffodils. They are planted, one by one and must if the best impact is to be achieved, be planted in large groups. Then there is the waiting- waiting for the spring to see them come up and bloom for a short time, before becoming a leggy undesirable spent bloom. But they are worth it. 

Emma Bridgewater Mugs ~My new favorite for Tea & Coffee

Setting Goals this year has been complimented by the observable accomplishments we see in our yard turned garden. Over the years, we have bit by bit carved out spaces with plantings, requiring patience to see the overall outcome. But we are beginning to see the fruits of our labor. Literally. A few years ago, Eric picked a peach from a tree in our neighbors yard, and planted the pit in soil. We didn't think much of it, but it is now in our yard, complimented by another we purchased from the nursery. It's really amazing and this year we may have fruit from that very tree. 

Atomic Habits is an idea as well as a book I borrowed from the library. I committed last year to borrow more books than buy them. This is one that while it is excellent, I needed to reserve the dollars for other things. 

Current situation: It will be May in a day and I'm sorting out where/how I'm going to spend my time, and what I hope to accomplish with these new 'habit' skills. March came in like a lion, only to be followed by a stampede of unfriendly elephants. The 'shelter-at-home' order has been one I never imagined to be such a challenge. Our household dynamics are our own, but I'm sure relatable to everyone. Everyone was and continues to be challenged by their unique circumstances. I allowed grace to be given and felt, to know there are some things I really can't change, but dealing with them and experiencing them must be given the time and attention required.  But  I MUST remember-- these are *just* circumstances. I can choose to take charge of my thoughts or let them rule me and my daily habits. Having completed the academic year (September through April) of 'Life Mentoring School,' with Edie Wadsworth at Life In Grace, I am well armed to move forward in a much more settled and confident way. I would say it has been life changing, like no other class or counseling I've received or participated in. So I wrap up this year, such that is has been. Whatever side-hustle or hobby is completed will be so, and that which has not will be shelved for the for-seeable future. It is time to chart the calendar and accomplish some of the things that were derailed by the virus this spring. Back to eating well, wearing clothes I can button, and exercising so that I can fit into something besides yoga pants! 

Thoughts {Feelings} Actions and a Double Feature ~ December 2019

While I'm munching tasty treats topped with Rasberry Pepper Jelly from Thomasville, GA, I'm hammering out the worlds problems with my bff on a Monday. My snack is leftover's from Thanksgiving, and my thoughts are straight out of 'Life in Grace' Life Mentoring School. 
Over and over, Edie kept saying, it comes down to your thoughts. You can't change someone, you can't make people behave differently (even your kids.) Circumstances don't always change or go away. Changing the circumstance doesn't always bring the desired result. Actually, almost always it doesn't bring the desired result. It just creates more chaos.  
I've gained so much from Edie's classes. For years, I've known the concept of 'Thoughts produce Actions,' but with this new approach inserting the feelings, and asking? 

What do I want to feel? And her answer kept coming back, 

'Then you have to change your thoughts.'

Eventually we run out of adrenaline to push through the difficult times. We can do hard things. But taking every thought captive is really a pretty healthy guideline for living. 

 I want to thrive~not just survive! 

Inspirational Double Feature last night after surviving/thriving through Thanksgiving week: 

Queen of Katwe 

Secretariat.

Community, Working-Out ~ November 2019

     Of all the things I never imagined would come from working out came community. I look for the brave faces who dress for comfort over style and bravely bare their (our) less than perfect bodies.  A handful of friends I've known have been in my classes, surprising me with their strength and stealth at the same time. One friend, I knew worked out, literally dumbfounded me with her agility and core strength. Her plank was a thing of beauty. For all my attempts, I still looked like I was barely trying. But that's the thing about real community: folks will meet you where you are and know you are trying just by showing up. You've already made yourself vulnerable. When you face-plant like I did one day, you're cheered on by getting up and back to it. When you concentrate your effort on isolating the muscle for the intended stretch, you're on the platform at the Olympics. At the right gym, folks know you're not trying to make the swimsuit calendar-- they know already you are in training-- you know your 'why.'  Obstacles are everywhere and you've got to strengthen for the long-game. With every weight successfully lifted, with every fly masterfully engaged, the body preps for when the mind wants to falter. It really does work, if you work it. Nana 'V' always said, 'Use it or you lose it.' She walked our creek side road in Franklin, often leaving us in the dust with her speed. Right up to the end, she flexed her arthritis ridden fingers, in numeric rhythm. Use it, or lose it. Or as Red says, 'Get busy livin' or get busy dyin.'
     The hardest thing about changing old patterns is realigning deeply rutted traditions. Those that center around fellowship and family. Meals, dinner, Sunday lunch, evening gatherings. I found #Whole30 to be a hugely successful approach for me a year ago, but I'm to the stage now where I need to move forward with planning and recipes, meal prepping and focus. Interpret this to say, I'm slipping because my taste buds are bored and my time is limited even more. Stress levels are high and food and drink are my buffers. The holidays are here and I've fallen back into foods like a stunt man falling off a building. 
     So I've pulled out a couple of favorites, including Whole 30 Fast and Easy. To double down and not miss the moment of transition out of my 10 week Fit Body Challenge, I plan to start meal planning more effectively. I've only done what feels like 'level 1' of eating healthy. The staples and basic and sometimes obvious things. But my taste buds are burnt out.  21 days is what folks say it takes to start a habit. Sustainability requires a plan. 
     Community is essential.  Having a common goal or activitiy creates the opportunity to be with people. With the holidays here, a handful of invitations have come my way. They are a blessing, but the everyday community is what sustains us. Yesterday, I was reminded of a book I see everywhere but have never read. I have already been encouraged to improve my 'Turquoise Table,' prep the coffee and be in community. The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard by Kristin Schell has offered up numerous simple ideas for engaging and noticing those around us and being present. 

     Another I found that appealed to the need for schedule was Return to Sunday Dinner: The Simple Delight of Family, Food, Friends, and Food by Russell Cronkhite. Predictability and consistency are calming in our chaotic world. This book has far more to offer than recipes. It's mere presence on my shelf  reminds me the importance of what I grew up knowing about Sunday dinner.  (But it doesn't have to be Sunday. Ann Moses made legendary pizza every Friday night for years. Years.) Many of the recipes are not quite #whole30 compliant, but that's not the focus. Finding the compromise and creating the beauty around what comes from making the effort is the goal. 

      Thanksgiving is tomorrow. So many things for which to give thanks. Here's to being a good steward of the abundance of God's good grace. God be honored in all things. HE is Worthy. 

The Obstacle is the Way -->Discipline of Action ~ November 2019

It is no secret I love new construction, so on the way back from dropping Eric at work, I took a few pictures of these particular houses.  But more importantly the obstacle the contractors faced.

I don't know the diameter of the stump remaining, but I can imagine this  tree was spectacular in its height and dimension. Ironically, I've traveled this road in downtown Athens many times. But I can't remember the tree, or even the timeworn house or houses that were likely torn down. But in their place are two very tidy attractive homes. I can hear the builders talking about this tree, the headache of it's removal will cause. The possible protests from naturalists that abound. But for better or for worse, he moved forward anyway, made the necessary calls, and planned the demolition and the tree's removal. 

From The Obstacle is the Way, by Ryan Holiday

 "But in our lives, when our worst instincts are in control, we dally. We don't act like Demosthenes, we act frail and are powerless to make ourselves better. We may be able to articulate a problem, even potential solutions, but then weeks, months, or sometimes years later, the problem is still there. Or it's gotten worse. As though we expect someone else to handle it, as though we honestly believe that there is a chance of obstacles unobstacle-ing themselves. 

We've all done it. Said: "I am so [overwhelmed, tired, stressed, busy, blocked, outmatched]."

And then what do we do about it? Go out and party. Or treat ourselves. Or sleep in. Or wait. 

It feels better to ignore or pretned. But you know deep down that that isn't going to truly make it any better. 

You've got to act. And you've got to start now." 

Standing at Poplar and Mulberry ~ Athens, GA

"How are all those resolutions you made going?" November 2019

Well into the fourth quarter of 2019, I've been asked about my book purchases, my diet and my exercise. While there were a few other commitments that I quietly added in January, those are the top three. I am reminded about my self challenge, 

"A Year from Now, You'll Wish You'd Started Today." 

So instead of counting regrets, this year I'm counting accomplishments. Instead of stepping into December with panic and dread, I'm getting creative with my shop and adding students to the schedule. 

Instead of eating the whole box of cookies and camping on the sofa indoors, I'm adjusting my thinking to an intentional way of living. 

Intentional living allows for the slip-up, but not living in denial. 

So, what worked? 

I began to move. Literally. I started walking regularly at least 2 miles at a time, and at all times of the day. Weather is only a circumstance, and if perceived negatively, I reminded myself that, 

'The Obstacle is the Way,' 

and,

 'What doesn't kill ya, makes you stronger.' 

I started listening to different voices. A mantra can create deep ruts in the mind, so I actively started to listen to life affirming 'voices.' Podcasts, friends, family who 'got' me and 'support' my effort to succeed and live life fully. While the negative voices don't always go away-including our own negative thoughts, and when we proactively choose to listen to fulfilling life affirming conversation, we are less likely to buy into destructive lies we might have once told ourselves. 

A year ago, I actively reunited myself to Edie Wadsworth at Life In Grace. I was watching her Facebook live videos in December. These became the fundamentals to her Life Mentoring School. I started taking these classes in September 2019, and couldn't be more thankful. 

My friend Sondra has successfully participated in Athens Fit Body Boot Camp for a year, and with her genuine giving spirit, she has helped and encouraged me through a 10 Week Challenge. 

Yup ~10 Weeks.

 I found muscles I forgot I had. The physicality of the class combined with the amazing guidance and encouragement to do HARD things set me up for another facet of change. I actually WANTED to go to the gym. My body feels better and my dependence on stress buffering agents has decreased. Clearer thinking and confidence were the bi-products I needed and achieved. 

I became accountable to myself. Instead of looking for loopholes, I began look the path of resistance square in the eye. This sounds counter intuitive, but it is usually where the problem is, and once the problem is conquered (or accepted by looking at it instead of avoiding it), the path is clear to do hard things. Once you do the hard things, life seems to open up to allow what is deeply fulfilling. 

Books. Well, I haven't stopped buying, but my number is well under that of years past and almost exclusively, I buy from the FOL (Friends of the Library) book room. This year, I didn't even go to the BIG sale. I know..... did you just feel a gust of spooky wind roll through?? Instead, I've been utilizing a library app on my phone to access books more effectively. I actually used this for teaching this fall, which was one of my 'loopholes' (excuses for retail therapy) I've abused this greatly in the past. 

One must find the balance between reading about life and learning about life AND ACTUALLY LIVING IT. 

Which brings me to a favorite book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, A Year of Food Life, by Barbara Kingsolver. I  couldn't have enjoyed this book more. It reminds me of my most recent foodie book, Whole30. The only way to go through a life change is to embrace it head on and with humor. The constructive discussion about how to achieve a goal spreads graciously over like foliage into all areas of life. It's a beautiful insight into one author's world, and enlightens us into the authenticity of her work, Prodigal Summer. 

So what take-away did I share with a local-bestie today? 

"Do It Scared." 

Once confidence and wisdom are on the mend it's important to try. State things in the affirmative. Move forward. 

Full Circle ~ September 2019

Today's challenge Athens Fit Body Boot Camp is 'Accountability.' Oh my. #week3FBBC 

When we set goals and we put our feet on the path to their end, 

we must look back momentarily,

 to see that note on a cryptic notepad, and cross off that task. 

Yes. I. Did. I put my hand to the task of strengthening my body, so that I could experience a 'meta' version of strengthening the soul and body. I'm not a 'gym-girl.' -- but,  

sometimes we must put down our known identify in favor of stepping into the unknown

 and 

embracing the possibilities of 

'what if?' 

Bottom Row, 2nd From Left

Tatoos, Bumperstickers, Summer ~ July 2019

Standing in line to check out in the Athens-Clark Public Library, I noticed one of the few tatoos I'd consider having. There is something about Rosie the Riveter that strikes at the heart of every woman. And there she was boldly staring me down from the arm of the mother cued up with books and babes in tow.

Norman Rockwell’s ‘Rosie the Riveter’ The Saturday Evening Post 

I knew I'd be crossing the Rubicon of Culture as I spoke up to this strong mama. I don't remember what I said, but it wasn't as stupid as it would be if I tried to recreate it now. She was flattered and kindly turned towards me and greeted my boys. They weren't all smocked up, so we didn't appear to be aliens. Little did she know, she was the pace-setter for the next 10 years of my life.

The next friend I met was at Tae Kwon Do for my homeschooled kids. Juli Wisotsky. My heart swells thinking of that day on the bench in the Carter's Dojo off Alps Road. She was in the process of specializing in adoption law. Already an attorney, she was refining her work to serve now hundreds of parents, both adoptive and birth, in life changing decisions. She took note some years later that one thing she knew about me, I'd always have on the same pendant nechlace, a gift from Drake and Kelley for my birthday, when we first moved here. Lisa Leonard's 'tree of life' with our little family's names circled about the tree. It's a raw and a simply stamped metal pendant. Sacred. I've only added and swapped it out a few times for a more polished version Mom gave me, and the addition:  a small ring from Kelly Bell with a friendship message engraved inside. But I always return to the original pendant. I tend to stick to less painful engravings and stampings to share experience or passion. Take for instance bumperstickers- I blamed the kids for them for a while, but now it's me. I'm the one picking them out and putting them on the van. But I think all these things serve as reminders and markers that declare something about us we wish not to forget. But also, we wish for others to know. A declaration of sorts. But some markers we would change, some mantras we'd rather swap for a newly discovered truth, when the image we bear no longer suits our soul. If  I recall correctly, Juli told me that exact thing, that she wished she didn't have the tatoos, not that she's against tatoos, but because they were a part of a life she no longer lived. They were a reminder of a past she'd given up, a life she'd left behind.
I heard a favorite line about parenting in the movie, 'Eat, Pray, Love'. The character played by Julia Roberts is unhappily married with no kids, struggling in her life-plan, who shares her angst with her friend played by Viola Davis, who has just had a baby. Viola turns to Julia, in character of course, with swagger and gust, holding and consoling her babe, and replies adroitly, "Having a child is like getting a tatoo on your face. You have to be committed.' The Jonas Brothers have a current pop-hit that includes the line, 'You're the tatoo on my brain.' And I think of my children, and that tatoo on my brain and how some thoughts are hidden in our hearts, like Jesus' mother, Mary. Some thoughts we wish we didn't have to hold. But we do. When our children look at us, they expect us to hold every memory, like it was yesterday, just as they remember it. We are the marker-keepers, the arm that wears the tatoo, the van with the stickers, the bearers of the good choices and the bad.
Eric and I would agree that both boys will remember this as a good summer. And that is what I can hope. I hope they remember predictability, consistent joy, safety. I pray they remember their mother and father laughing, praying, keeping a rhythm that is steady, prepared, and ready with space on that same van for the next bumper sticker -- and flexibility and patience for even -- the unexpected tatoo.

Crossroads and the Sweltering Heat - May 2019 into June 2019

Crossroads are not always unwelcome. And mine are not right now, but letting go of one thing to take hold of  another can be fretful. In some ways, our recent sweltering and oven-like heat has been metaphoric to me, reminding me, that I once enjoyed the overwhelming heat of summer. Now I'm just not able to tolerate it. Just unable to withstand the sun and how it drains you, leaves you worthless.
Admitting too much sun is disabling is in some ways- it's like letting go of childhood, the simple things that once characterized a carefree sense of summer. I don't think my mother was exempt from this feeling all the time either, but I believe even she would say, our lives were far more carefree, especially in summer.

Me hiding in the shade and avoiding the dinner hour. 

May went by with great haste and now we are midway through June. Seventy- five years ago, soldiers were several days into the Invasion of D-Day, and France was on it's way to liberation.
Recently reading, The Nightingale, by Kristin Hannah, it is fresh on my mind. My friend Elizabeth, who finished at the same marathon pace I did, shared how trivial her trials felt by comparison. The story is so real, and so layered. When you believe it can’t get worse, it does. Yet their perseverance is what drives you on, to finish the book without blinking. I found the aspect of the sister’s relationship interesting. The Close Readers are discussing Sense and Sensibility, and 'sister- teams' (#TeamMarianne or #TeamElinor) are dividing up. But after a good laugh, most admit relating to both sisters, and reflecting also on the sisters in Pride and Prejudice, it comes to the forefront that they are not enemies, but complimentary and an expression of their family's dynamic. Because as the reader, we are sometimes informed to subtle nuances unknown to the characters, we can contrive and create and even understand, what they may not see.  In our own lives, we can learn the same- perhaps with our own siblings, our own companions; we would do well to appreciate our complimentary characteristics and less of our differences, knowing there are so many things we just can't see or understand, including the other's perspective. In the ‘Nightingale’the family all are impacted by sudden intense dramatic moments, as well as incremental tragedy. The story beautifully weaves the family in and out of each other’s lives, and at the same time shares a greater story of hopeful redemption, not unlike that demonstrated by our Lord. As my friend Elizabeth said, don’t finish this book in a public place. Be prepared to mourn, but also be prepared to face anew the challenge you find in your own life. The story will linger in your memory and you will, I believe, be compelled to embrace challenge as it comes your way.

Rabbit Trails-Round-up ~ April 2019 #NotAFool

  One of the things I've learned and embraced this year, and about which my good friend, Leslie, has faithfully reminded me: 

Without a plan,

 good intentions are just wishes. 

I accept my limitations dictated by responsibilities, but nothing we want to actually happen or change will unless we are disciplined. This means being disciplined when we'd rather eat the donut, rather skip the exercise, skip the next chapter, plan to 'stay up late and get caught up,' or the classic-- leave the laundry on the steps knowing someone else will take it up stairs. 

So in honor of April 2019, It's time to turn a corner and get back on the path of resistance because we can do things of value that are hard. Just having a positive attitude and calling fear a liar doesn't drive out the lies. 

April #NotAFool Rabbit-Trail-Round-Up: 

1. I will #readthenextchapter  of After Virtue (chapter 8) to keep in sync with all the other 38 readers on Marco Polo, and give my self grace that it is THE HARDEST BOOK ever written in the modern English language. 

2. In the spirit Jonathon Rogers wrote this post, I will #putonthetennisskirt and call myself a writer. While there are a few posts that you may read here at this blog that demonstrate skill, there are reems of notebooks not published, full of characters and places I wish to improve and share. In fact, I may even join one of his writing classes. I'm wondering if my friend Meredith might find this interesting? (wink;)

3. I will get real about #whole30. Stressors creep up. Life happens. And then the addictive foods take over. While I would love for our kitchen to be completely clean and  healthy, my success doesn't depend on another's dedication or lack thereof. Eric and I now regularly walk *together* and take the opportunity to talk about life. My goal is to join with friends who are putting health up front as a priority. Whole 30 has opened some doors to new ways of thinking and dealing with life. It really does just *start* with food.

I think we can really only grasp three ideas at a time, but I'm finding ways to literally and figuratively put the spill-over on the shelf until time, resources and opportunity are in the works. But I don't want to look back and wonder what would have happened if only... 
What's on your agenda? What are your goals? 
What are your big three for the next three months? 

March 2019 ~ Mercy At the Speed of Hiking

I believe the sun rising signals the start of the day. 

I believe the seasons are a blessing. 

I believe our bodies are made for the speed of walking
 and our souls for running, 

towards God's goodness and away from evil. 

I believe in God's divine plans for me and all creation. 

So I'll savor the sunrise and give thanks. 

When life begins to move too fast, I'm thankful for the new habit of walking. This morning I walked our local park whose trees you can just see on the left. It's more open and I can choose how far and which direction to gather the best view. Today I chose to walk in the sunshine, as it's still cold. It is my current chosen physical 'labor' I think Edie calls it, as we don't have the same amount of physical movement in our sedentary lives as our ancestors. 

Our hike this weekend was breathtaking. We visited Tallulah Gorge, about an hour and a half away from home. I went specifically to cross the suspension bridge, to revisit a place that causes great fear. We can do hard things. It's needful to push into things that challenge us, and this time it wasn't the height but the number of ascending and descending steps. My calves haven't had that kind of workout in a while. The best was this picture. All four of us collected of free will in one photo for posterity. 

We did it. #ihike2019 8/52, in the books. 

Laura, Jack 15, Eric, Henry 12 

Tallulah Gorge 2019

'Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

His mercy endures for ever.

...

I called on the Lord in distress;

The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.

the Lord is on my side; I will not fear. 

What can man do to me?' 

from ~   Psalm 118

Essential Oils, Healthy Living, March 2019

Thoughts become actions.

Actions become habits. 

Habits determine our character.

Character determines our destiny. 

Last night I found myself listening to Dr. Edie, at LifeinGrace, about schedule planning. I realized I'd made the jump. I had a moment of clarity that comes with a pattern of success. Last October(2018), I realized I needed to get serious about my destiny. For years this poem/quote has been an active part of my belief system. And it's true. But like many things I'd only half-used the knowledge at my disposal. So this year is new in many ways as I am grabbing strong hold on resources that will help me to accomplish my goals. 

December(2018) brought eating into perspective, reading 'It Starts with Food,' and completing my first #whole30. 
January (2019) added exercise including #ihike2019 with 52 hikes, of at least 2 miles, to be completed this year. 
February(2019) brought focus to another level of dedication to areas that are more slippery, but needed to be handled. #readthebooksihave is not a cute slogan to stop spending but a dedication to a plan to determine what is really important to me-- not just inherited or an accidental leftover from homeschooling. Choice-making that cuts to the heart of what I want the next 48 years to look like- remember I'm shooting for 100. We can do hard things and there are resources at our disposal. But when we take inventory of our selves- figuratively or physically- not everything has to go. Heidi White suggested recently in a most excellent interview found here, the books we have read inform our moral imagination and furnish our minds. She is participating in a larger conversation going on in Classical Education circles, but this is not to be missed by anyone who is wondering about how media or books can impact our lives. 

March(2019) brings another component of my year of evaluation and growth. Essential oils became a part of my daily routine last November. 4 months later I'm actively embracing being a distributor for Young Living. After what I called a trial period for myself, I feel like I can recommend the products. Recommend, not educate. I'll leave that to Edie for now. Her live videos on Facebook as well as YouTube are amazing--so informative and encouraging.

Thieves and Citrus Fresh are my favorites. I use my diffuser everyday and clean with Thieves cleaning products regularly. My next order will include the Ningxia drink. I've successfully used Peppermint, Digize and Copaiba for an upset stomach.  The list goes on.... 

You can order retail from me or choose the wholesale distributor option with kit purchase at this link, or the link in the sidebar. (make sure my number pops up) The wholesale option pops up first. Don't let that scare you, though; you can bypass and just select from the catalog, which is what I did for a year. 

For now, I'm going to go plan my order with my hot lemon water. Don't you love the 'Been There' Starbucks Series cup?? 

Hanging on by 3 Threads and a Band-aid - 'The Trumpet of the Swan' E.B. White

I have taught in a co-op for homeschool students for about 5 years. One of my favorite groups to teach are late elementary through early middle school students. I love connecting students with the good and the greats- literature and other stories. One of the books I never read as a child is The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White. I have learned so much from reading these along with my students; I say these as I have read his other 2 well known books for children, Charlotte's Webb and Stuart Little  and a precious biography by Melissa Sweet, Some Writer;The Story of E.B. White.
Why should anyone read these? E.B. White was a simple writer, approachable by anyone, of any age. His stories connect living things from aspects of everyday life. Both human and animals, anthropomorphized, have challenges and experiences that draw us in to a hope for a slower and deeper existence. Especially now in our hectic, electrified world, we need books that bring our souls to their natural speed.
While these books seem like children's books, they are an excellent diversion for the adult reader for a bit of delight in our world. Not only does the reader experience the simple delights but we can see resilience and perseverance in a parent. With my own children, I am challenged with the balance of doing for and loving in the right ways. Watching 'the Cob', Louis's father go to great lengths to provide an unusual need for his son, he is also injured. I laughed yesterday on my walk as I enjoyed my own thoughts. Somehow I felt I was hanging on by 'three threads and a band-aid.' Yet it felt like enough. Why? Why a band-aid. Our thoughts will churn up what we've assimilated (vocabulary word from our class) if we quiet our souls, and turn off our phones(mine had died.) Louis's father had been given a band-aid for his gun-shot wound. There's the band-aid! I laughed out-loud when I realized why I was thinking that. And then I reflected on the father doing his best for his son, the son who had a speech impediment.
I never read this book when I was younger. We were already immersed in 'made for tv' and movie versions of great books. The 1973 version of 'Charlotte's Web,' is exceptional in its quality, but it's not like a slow read, where you imagine the farm of E.B. White's youth. All of his stories include interesting details from his childhood, like the music store to where his father flies. But reading it with new eyes in the last few years, incorporating IEW techniques, such as unit 5 'Writing from Pictures,' and the 3 paragraph format, including simple dress-ups has been wonderful. Writing across the curriculum need not be forced. I believe E.B. White's work will be part of our studies for quite some time. It's a perfect fit of details and simple writing.

December 2018 ~ #whole30 #ihike2019 #lifetimemeds #readthebooksihave

Before the Christmas rush was really on, I had already decided some things would change-- this year. Of course, folks have thought I was crazy to start a #whole30 diet in December. Who does some thing like this?? This is the season of indulgence and all good things. But just like the book says, no time like the present. And then there's this constant reminder: 

A Year from Now, 

You'll Wish You Started Today

So I started. I've documented everything. Every. Thing. 

I even had to visit my GP, and was able to brag. I told her I was actually looking forward to seeing her in March to see my bloodwork. 

I don't  (but that's for another post..) know exactly what pushed me, but I know hearing about someone's medical cost for things that could be prevented with early(ier) life changes in diet and lifestyle made a huge impact. 
I just don't want to live like that. I want to live. Fully. In a way that honors God and supports my family, not weighs it down. 
I've been watching Heidi Scovel hike this year, and have decided I'll set a real goal. #ihike2019 is the code for my present count of 0/52. Why should I wait for a doctor to prescribe what we already know? 
I talk to my BFF almost everyday and for some years she's been talking about Whole 30. She recommended reading 
'It Starts with Food,'  
I read it. And jumped in. All the way.
 I've been successful, with my weaknesses right at the forefront of my plan. No compromises. It's been almost perfect. And I can say, I'll keep up most of it after I'm done. I've never felt better in my life. I don't want to go back. I have 48.5 more years to go to get to 100, and after reading this article today, I think I can make it. Why shouldn't I? The gardening I plan to do to support this diet should surely work! Not to mention fresh eggs! 

One of my 5 chickens as of December 2018.

 Gardens including an asparagus bed ready for winter. 

My chicken's egg on the left. Store bought on the right. 

Over the last year, (and continuing into the next,) I have been reading many books in preparation for teaching Advanced American History IEW Writing in the fall 2019. And I believe I have all I need for that endeavor, so I made another decision. 
This year: I will buy no new books. None. (This is where to lay bets folks.)
I will #readthebooksihave 
I gathered up some reeeally good ones in the last year. One in particular is a great place to start for the upcoming new year. 

Shannan Martin holds nothing back. Should any of us, when it comes to loving our fellow man? loving God? 

2019 will be an interesting year for sure. I will certainly begin counting my #lifetimemeds again, and enjoying hobbies that feed my soul. 

What are your goals for 2019? 

Remember~A year from now, you'll wish you started today!