Southern Snow and Slow Decorating - January 2025

Are you comfortable in your home? Have you been hanging on to things that don't serve your aesthetic? Yes, we all have an aesthetic. It's kind of like a style, but it's such a compilation of who we are. Maybe you're ready for some change, tired of all the things. But if you pull back all the things at one time, remove the placeholders all at once, you'll be sitting on a box you brought home your groceries in from Costco, and decorating with a gift bag from Christmas. 

I've been culling down items from what feels like the last 30 years. We renovated in 2013, and just yesterday repaired the kitchen range-- for the first time. I say 'we' liberally-- Eric is extremely capable with trouble shooting and repairing. But we both usually go straight to YouTube for tutorials. Yesterday, we looked up cleaning the control panel on the back of our Frigidaire Gallery Range. And one thing led to another and now I basically have a completely refurbished range & oven.  We're now back in the business of cozy cooking for the first Southern Snow of 2025

I have to say, Eric has us ready for power outages, with wood stacked to the fence-tops to be used in our wood stove. It is a key feature seen in our main living space. It's always an energy saver as it warms our entire first floor and well enough on the second, should we need it. He's working on a plan now to hook up our generator if we lose power. 

I'll be sharing more of our 'slow decorating' projects on Instagram, Pinterest as well as YouTube. As I mentioned, we did a big renovation of the first floor in 2012 and finished out our bathrooms on the second floor in 2024. We completed the landing 2023 and will be completing the trim & decorating this year. 

Completing the projects is essential. Closing a chapter, giving time to work on new goals and live life beyond the four walls and within is the goal. For now, I'm doing a little 'look-back' and shoring up my recent changes. 'Richard  Parker,' is here for it. 

Pushing Back ~ Victory Garden ~ March 2021

My first opportunity to  teach Textiles came with an office. I should rephrase this-- it came with a desk in a group office in what was essentially a hallway for students on their way to the design lab. In some ways, it was good.(Remember, I'm a 'half-full' person. ) Interaction with students was a bonus, you saw who was actually going to class, and you might just be lucky to overhear valuable chatter that might serve in connecting with these students. We were the 'Core' class teachers. Math, English, but I was a cross-over. I taught Textiles. Textiles is a 'Core' class for students studying Interior or Clothing Design. So a few years in,  I was migrated to an office where instructors from my field of study were collected. I knew I had arrived. But with that move came unbeknownst to me, the added joy of the sound of the 10:00 opening of Lord & Taylor Department store, and the escalator grinding directly over my head.  As glamorous as it was to be working in the 'lower floor,' aka-the basement- of Phipps Plaza in Atlanta, GA, there were trade offs. 

Embroidery Enthusiast ~Indian Rocks Beach, FL 1982 

Being able to focus in the midst of chaos has long been a skill of mine. And it's paying off in spades this year. My 'office,' once a front living room, is more like a hallway on the way to the kitchen, a pitstop to change the thermostat, and most commonly, a resting spot for Henry while he checks the recipe he's cooking up on his cellphone, with a spatula dripping in hand. But its mine. I have a space. I have shelves full of my books, drawers full of sewing supplies, and a furniture layout that only a creative could appreciate. I'll take it. 

Staying in the midst of life, while finding your 'niche' is important. Living 'in the world, yet not of it,' is critical. Engaging in discussion without accepting every idea has long been appreciated- So I am less morphed by every sway of the wind, and am now pushing back on the parameters of my tiny universe.

Burning off the leaves in our updated garden space. 2021

 'No man is an island,' said John Donne, and I fully agree.  Community is precious, yet our exposure to every conceivable notion is more like a fire hydrant sourced by the ocean, and our ability to drink deeply of a wholesome idea and develop that interest is swept away far to soon, before we are able to offer it opportunity to take root. We are often even ridiculed for going back to the 'old things,' when we don't embrace the 'new.' Nothing 'new' is ever found under the great orb, yet it seems to come at us faster these days, and with a renewed sharpness to shame, even cancel. So here's me, pushing back. Looking back into the hills, from whence cometh my strength. 'Let us not grow weary in well doing,' And all That. Timeless truths, shining onto the new and the old, lighting every path. Once again, finding a foothold in my little corner of the world.

My Nana's sewing box and 'all the things...' 

Uninvited /The Best Yes/ Love Does ~ Bookshelf No. 6 ~ December 2020

 A few weeks ago I participated in a gathering of friends food and fellowship at Debbie's. We were to bring a book to swap. Hello. Yes, please. We were instructed to write a  brief 'teaser' passage on the wrapping without giving it away. I knew some of the group would be gardeners and foodies, so I selected    Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I keep a handful of these, thrifted and like new books so I was ready to go. But this was after much deliberation. I also knew this crowd to be powerful mamas, and might appreciate another author that made a difference in my life at a challenging time. 

Our books all wrapped before the Swap

Dad passed away in September 4 years ago, and by December of that year, I was a hot mess. Loss and grief have a way of resurrecting old wounds, hurts you thought had turned into scars. But they weren't and I was what Dad often referred to as 'the walking wounded.' This came back to me hard this week when I learned of a teammate of Henry losing his mother  two days ago. Parent loss is.... ageless, timeless. Losing a loved one, as a dear sister said, is like losing a part of your hedgerow that blocks the winds on your heart. Weakened is an understatement for where I found myself. I was Christmas shopping with the boys and had stepped into Christian Books on Epps, before it closed, and saw  Uninvited, Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst.  I snatched it up, paid the bill and forgot what else I'd needed to purchase(not an uncommon phenomenon in my life-purchasing books instead of milk, eggs, TP.) I'm pretty sure I ordered pizza, put the boys in front of 'Elf,' and read the entire book.  Some of the brokenness in my life heard passages anew such as Psalm 23. The Lord doesn't remove us from our hardship, but He prepares a table, He provides for us what we need in the moment. He does. Chapter titles like, ' Moving through the Desperate In-Between,' made sense to me. Considering how the enemy could use my weakened state to play upon my fear, this passage was highly marked up: 'The enemy loves to take our rejection and twist it into raw, irrational fear that  God really doesn't have a good plan for us. This fear is a corrupting companion. It replaces the truths we've trusted with hopeless lies. Satan knows what consumes us controls us. Therefore the more consumed we are with rejection, the more he can control our emotions. our thinking, and our actions.' 

Fast forward. Still thrifting books, I recently found Lysa TerKeurst next book, The Best Yes. I have since participated in therapeutic counseling as well as Life Coaching with  Edie Wadsworth at Life In Grace. So many things have happened in four years, but I've found investing in taking care of yourself mentally, as well as physically and spiritually, is crucial. On my chalkwall is largely written, 

'A Year From Now, You'll Wish You'd Started Today.' 

But what if you are in the midst of life and you don't know what you should start - or stop? And not to add any pressure, but often self-help books are written by highly accomplished women with businesses and ministries known world wide. So taking great caution with who I let into my head is important. There are a million people who will offer suggestions of ways to use your mind and talents, but being able to listen to God's voice along side intuition and make wise, informed decisions is priceless gift. I've mentioned before one of my favorite quotes from  The Best Yes:  

'You won't ever be able to keep up with unrealistic. 

Unrealistic demands lead to undercurrents of failure.' 

 This isn't the typical 'Obstacle is the way' type rhetoric you hear in the average motivational book. Yes, that book is great too! But what if you are burning out, and you really need to assess that to actually say yes to? 

Another favorite quote in Lysa's book comes from Bob Goff, from Love Does. 

'The world can make you think that love can be picked up at a garage sale or enveloped in a Hallmark card. But the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright... The brand of love Jesus offers is... more about presence than understaking a project. It's a brand of love that doesn't just think about good things, or agree with them, or talk about them... Love Does.'

Can I just say- if you are suffering from 'analysis paralysis,' and want to get off that treadmill, Lysa is a good guide. She is not just another writer; she has walked some fearful paths unexpectedly and still found her 'Best Yes.' 

This season of Christmas is often filled with entirely too much choice over what to do and how we will spend our time. I'm exausted. Really. This year has been more than I can handle at times. But each time I reassess, regroup and consider what is really my 'best yes,' I'm better for it and my family benefits from the best version of me I can be. When I am more centered and aware, when the chaos of my people-pleasing ways goes away, I am able to be more present, be a presence for good, do in the most meaningful way. 

Spray Paint Might Save the World ~ Bookshelf No. 1 November 2020

  If we've never met, you may think I'm a bit shallow. But once you run back through a few posts, you'll  realize I'm not shallow, just layered. Picture the layers of the ancient city of Troy, Trojan horse and all. I  don't pretend to be as capable as many of my peers. But I have my skills, like-- I can see through a pile of fabric anywhere and spot the block printed French cotton a mile away. Yup. I'm a #wickedthrifter over at #littlebirdtextiles

So when I say,  spray  paint might save the world, take heed.   I was old(er) when I had kids, through adoption, and much like that, nothing has gone according to plan, in my unique universe, or in the world at large. And there is nothing a good dose of green (my preferred color) spray paint can't redeem.  For example, the basket from Goodwill that will hold a variety of things. It could have been trashed- yet, for .99, I have a new catch-all basket to make my activities more efficient as well as colorfully encouraging. 

Before you start to trip out on Goodwill--  I'm also a capitalist. Do you know the  cashiers at your Goodwill? I do. Somebody had a good idea. Donate stuff. Employ people to organize and shelve it. Sell it. 'But what about those bad folks up at the top who make the big paychecks?' Those folks are the risk takers who invest in the rehab of the big-box stores that nobody uses anymore(our local store was a Best Buy.) So now, the once empty big-box store employs folks who work hard. Often they are folks who might not find a job elsewhere. And you know the bonus? They actually have an employment office in the store. Dang. Can this get any better? While I didn't look at the yearly statement for this company, I don't lose sleep over it, because I know the lady who checked me out today, who often shares her happy experience with me, and she will receive a paycheck in a timely manner. And that was enough for me. I left with a .99 basket that is now green that will  hold my dishtowels(I have many green baskets), while I make brownies for my kids.  And I will think happy thoughts about the redeemed item that was not put into a landfill.  Yup. Even recycled.  And even more about the happy lady who has meaningful work. 

Sounds like a win-win to me.  #green #recycle  #community

Which of course leads me to a book. It would seem that such an insignificant experience might not be worth the recounting in such a jaded, confused time in our world. Yet, for literally centuries people have been waking to the same sunshine to decide how they will live out their day. I have a favorite author whose books don many of my shelves. Alexander McCall Smith. He is my go-to for book recommendations because he introduced me to Mme Precious Rmwatswe. I believe everyone should know her. She determined herself to be the proprietor of  The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency and therefore, Smith wrote at  least 15 books about her and her community. Her stories are filled with gentle appreciation for her modern culture in Africa, with a regular glance backward to her most noble father who is 'late,'(passed.) (My own introdueced me to these stories.<3) But one I found on my own after meeting her(and her writer) was of another unique period of time and is a stand alone worth every minute. La's Orchestra Saves the World,* asks exactly the question that every person must ask themselves when they wake each day. Is what I do really meaningful, does it matter, and consequently, do I matter. I love the action she undertakes to  move forward in an uncertain time. In a twist of irony, I have had a student who plays French horn, a featured instrument in the book, and a very unique instrument, one that if played well takes one to another level of orchestra and appreciation of the world of music. He, my student, is that type of person and is equal in exceptionality as the instrument of his choosing. His mother commented one day, after lesson number 595, about whether the  playing of the French horn really could save the world-- and I replied, I believed so. For it is is the learning by heart 'something' which trains our minds to seek excellence-- yes, to sense that traction of success, and therefore propels us to hope. And having hope is the essence of that which will truly save the world. 

The books I've mentioned have links to Goldberry Books, an independent bookstore in Concord, North Carolina. The proprietors have opened a brick and mortar store I can't wait to visit. Visit their link to support small business! Their opening in Fall 2020 is the definition of Hope! <3 

 

The Obstacle is the Way -->Discipline of Action ~ November 2019

It is no secret I love new construction, so on the way back from dropping Eric at work, I took a few pictures of these particular houses.  But more importantly the obstacle the contractors faced.

I don't know the diameter of the stump remaining, but I can imagine this  tree was spectacular in its height and dimension. Ironically, I've traveled this road in downtown Athens many times. But I can't remember the tree, or even the timeworn house or houses that were likely torn down. But in their place are two very tidy attractive homes. I can hear the builders talking about this tree, the headache of it's removal will cause. The possible protests from naturalists that abound. But for better or for worse, he moved forward anyway, made the necessary calls, and planned the demolition and the tree's removal. 

From The Obstacle is the Way, by Ryan Holiday

 "But in our lives, when our worst instincts are in control, we dally. We don't act like Demosthenes, we act frail and are powerless to make ourselves better. We may be able to articulate a problem, even potential solutions, but then weeks, months, or sometimes years later, the problem is still there. Or it's gotten worse. As though we expect someone else to handle it, as though we honestly believe that there is a chance of obstacles unobstacle-ing themselves. 

We've all done it. Said: "I am so [overwhelmed, tired, stressed, busy, blocked, outmatched]."

And then what do we do about it? Go out and party. Or treat ourselves. Or sleep in. Or wait. 

It feels better to ignore or pretned. But you know deep down that that isn't going to truly make it any better. 

You've got to act. And you've got to start now." 

Standing at Poplar and Mulberry ~ Athens, GA

Painting with Miss Mustard Seed ~ November 2019

Recently, I won the prize for thrifting in a moment of chance. I snagged the tag for the best piece of furniture among the lot of discarded items and didn't look back. After having several folks ask me if I was really going to buy it, I knew I'd scored a keeper. 
This dresser has found its home in Henry's room. It's wood was quite beautiful, but raw, and needed a protective coating. 

I love Miss Mustard Seed's projects and decided to purchase some of her sealer. I've used it now on two projects and its beautiful. It's clear, non-yellowing and durable. I'll be on the look out for more furniture to experiment with her colors of chalk paint. My favorite is 'Boxwood.' If you're looking for a great  sealer to protect your hard work, I can recommend this for making the finish last. *You'll note, my bottle has been used for 2 coats, so you can see how much I used for the project. Also, the label covered some of the instructions, but I knew I could find instructions at Marian's blog if I needed them. 

*Amazon Affiliate Links

"How are all those resolutions you made going?" November 2019

Well into the fourth quarter of 2019, I've been asked about my book purchases, my diet and my exercise. While there were a few other commitments that I quietly added in January, those are the top three. I am reminded about my self challenge, 

"A Year from Now, You'll Wish You'd Started Today." 

So instead of counting regrets, this year I'm counting accomplishments. Instead of stepping into December with panic and dread, I'm getting creative with my shop and adding students to the schedule. 

Instead of eating the whole box of cookies and camping on the sofa indoors, I'm adjusting my thinking to an intentional way of living. 

Intentional living allows for the slip-up, but not living in denial. 

So, what worked? 

I began to move. Literally. I started walking regularly at least 2 miles at a time, and at all times of the day. Weather is only a circumstance, and if perceived negatively, I reminded myself that, 

'The Obstacle is the Way,' 

and,

 'What doesn't kill ya, makes you stronger.' 

I started listening to different voices. A mantra can create deep ruts in the mind, so I actively started to listen to life affirming 'voices.' Podcasts, friends, family who 'got' me and 'support' my effort to succeed and live life fully. While the negative voices don't always go away-including our own negative thoughts, and when we proactively choose to listen to fulfilling life affirming conversation, we are less likely to buy into destructive lies we might have once told ourselves. 

A year ago, I actively reunited myself to Edie Wadsworth at Life In Grace. I was watching her Facebook live videos in December. These became the fundamentals to her Life Mentoring School. I started taking these classes in September 2019, and couldn't be more thankful. 

My friend Sondra has successfully participated in Athens Fit Body Boot Camp for a year, and with her genuine giving spirit, she has helped and encouraged me through a 10 Week Challenge. 

Yup ~10 Weeks.

 I found muscles I forgot I had. The physicality of the class combined with the amazing guidance and encouragement to do HARD things set me up for another facet of change. I actually WANTED to go to the gym. My body feels better and my dependence on stress buffering agents has decreased. Clearer thinking and confidence were the bi-products I needed and achieved. 

I became accountable to myself. Instead of looking for loopholes, I began look the path of resistance square in the eye. This sounds counter intuitive, but it is usually where the problem is, and once the problem is conquered (or accepted by looking at it instead of avoiding it), the path is clear to do hard things. Once you do the hard things, life seems to open up to allow what is deeply fulfilling. 

Books. Well, I haven't stopped buying, but my number is well under that of years past and almost exclusively, I buy from the FOL (Friends of the Library) book room. This year, I didn't even go to the BIG sale. I know..... did you just feel a gust of spooky wind roll through?? Instead, I've been utilizing a library app on my phone to access books more effectively. I actually used this for teaching this fall, which was one of my 'loopholes' (excuses for retail therapy) I've abused this greatly in the past. 

One must find the balance between reading about life and learning about life AND ACTUALLY LIVING IT. 

Which brings me to a favorite book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, A Year of Food Life, by Barbara Kingsolver. I  couldn't have enjoyed this book more. It reminds me of my most recent foodie book, Whole30. The only way to go through a life change is to embrace it head on and with humor. The constructive discussion about how to achieve a goal spreads graciously over like foliage into all areas of life. It's a beautiful insight into one author's world, and enlightens us into the authenticity of her work, Prodigal Summer. 

So what take-away did I share with a local-bestie today? 

"Do It Scared." 

Once confidence and wisdom are on the mend it's important to try. State things in the affirmative. Move forward.