Southern Snow and Slow Decorating - January 2025

Are you comfortable in your home? Have you been hanging on to things that don't serve your aesthetic? Yes, we all have an aesthetic. It's kind of like a style, but it's such a compilation of who we are. Maybe you're ready for some change, tired of all the things. But if you pull back all the things at one time, remove the placeholders all at once, you'll be sitting on a box you brought home your groceries in from Costco, and decorating with a gift bag from Christmas. 

I've been culling down items from what feels like the last 30 years. We renovated in 2013, and just yesterday repaired the kitchen range-- for the first time. I say 'we' liberally-- Eric is extremely capable with trouble shooting and repairing. But we both usually go straight to YouTube for tutorials. Yesterday, we looked up cleaning the control panel on the back of our Frigidaire Gallery Range. And one thing led to another and now I basically have a completely refurbished range & oven.  We're now back in the business of cozy cooking for the first Southern Snow of 2025

I have to say, Eric has us ready for power outages, with wood stacked to the fence-tops to be used in our wood stove. It is a key feature seen in our main living space. It's always an energy saver as it warms our entire first floor and well enough on the second, should we need it. He's working on a plan now to hook up our generator if we lose power. 

I'll be sharing more of our 'slow decorating' projects on Instagram, Pinterest as well as YouTube. As I mentioned, we did a big renovation of the first floor in 2012 and finished out our bathrooms on the second floor in 2024. We completed the landing 2023 and will be completing the trim & decorating this year. 

Completing the projects is essential. Closing a chapter, giving time to work on new goals and live life beyond the four walls and within is the goal. For now, I'm doing a little 'look-back' and shoring up my recent changes. 'Richard  Parker,' is here for it. 

Whiteboard, Chalkboard, Build a Bunker ~ January 2025

 I have 2 whiteboards in my home office. One is inspirational and the other is practical. The inspirational one has become a permanent fixture since 2020. I've evolved a bit in my activities since then, but it was the jumping off point and I can't erase what's there. Do you ever feel stuck like that- like you just can't throw that momento away for fear that you'll forget the event or catalyst that inspired it's keeping? This is the feeling to overcome in looking forward to new things. Freeing up space for the new is what frees us to live in a forward thinking manner. 

I've culled and culled this December and January. I've determined not to leave behind piles to be hauled away. I'd rather lovingly haul it away myself, or at least dispose of it ethically. But mostly, it's for my mental health. 

No longer are we just inundated by physical objects, but by the backlog of our e-mail boxes, our Amazon wishlists, and our photos in the cloud. We literally- virtually run out of space and must purchase more 'cloud,' to store our photos we'll only be abruptly reminded of by Google at precisely the most inopportune moment. 

Build a bunker. This is one of the most effective efforts I've embraced while working outside the home. My workspace is small and public. But it's mine and it directs my thoughts and activities throughout the day. So does my home office, my kitchen, our living room. Our living spaces are important. So to that end, I'm reinventing, cleaning and purging after about 12 years of living in this house. I'm loving the guidelines I've found on social media-- 'don't hold onto it for 'someday.' Oh my. How liberating when I realized how many times I've moved certain objects over the course of 30 years. It won't look like a Swedish condominium when I'm done. It will likely still look just as cluttered as when I started to the unknowing eye. But it already feels calmer. I've already disposed of 12 bags, 8 boxes, probably more broken, too small, too big, random, un-needed items. This is how to build a bunker. No matter what the work or activity or feeling-- you have to start by cleaning out. 

 

Community, Working-Out ~ November 2019

     Of all the things I never imagined would come from working out came community. I look for the brave faces who dress for comfort over style and bravely bare their (our) less than perfect bodies.  A handful of friends I've known have been in my classes, surprising me with their strength and stealth at the same time. One friend, I knew worked out, literally dumbfounded me with her agility and core strength. Her plank was a thing of beauty. For all my attempts, I still looked like I was barely trying. But that's the thing about real community: folks will meet you where you are and know you are trying just by showing up. You've already made yourself vulnerable. When you face-plant like I did one day, you're cheered on by getting up and back to it. When you concentrate your effort on isolating the muscle for the intended stretch, you're on the platform at the Olympics. At the right gym, folks know you're not trying to make the swimsuit calendar-- they know already you are in training-- you know your 'why.'  Obstacles are everywhere and you've got to strengthen for the long-game. With every weight successfully lifted, with every fly masterfully engaged, the body preps for when the mind wants to falter. It really does work, if you work it. Nana 'V' always said, 'Use it or you lose it.' She walked our creek side road in Franklin, often leaving us in the dust with her speed. Right up to the end, she flexed her arthritis ridden fingers, in numeric rhythm. Use it, or lose it. Or as Red says, 'Get busy livin' or get busy dyin.'
     The hardest thing about changing old patterns is realigning deeply rutted traditions. Those that center around fellowship and family. Meals, dinner, Sunday lunch, evening gatherings. I found #Whole30 to be a hugely successful approach for me a year ago, but I'm to the stage now where I need to move forward with planning and recipes, meal prepping and focus. Interpret this to say, I'm slipping because my taste buds are bored and my time is limited even more. Stress levels are high and food and drink are my buffers. The holidays are here and I've fallen back into foods like a stunt man falling off a building. 
     So I've pulled out a couple of favorites, including Whole 30 Fast and Easy. To double down and not miss the moment of transition out of my 10 week Fit Body Challenge, I plan to start meal planning more effectively. I've only done what feels like 'level 1' of eating healthy. The staples and basic and sometimes obvious things. But my taste buds are burnt out.  21 days is what folks say it takes to start a habit. Sustainability requires a plan. 
     Community is essential.  Having a common goal or activitiy creates the opportunity to be with people. With the holidays here, a handful of invitations have come my way. They are a blessing, but the everyday community is what sustains us. Yesterday, I was reminded of a book I see everywhere but have never read. I have already been encouraged to improve my 'Turquoise Table,' prep the coffee and be in community. The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard by Kristin Schell has offered up numerous simple ideas for engaging and noticing those around us and being present. 

     Another I found that appealed to the need for schedule was Return to Sunday Dinner: The Simple Delight of Family, Food, Friends, and Food by Russell Cronkhite. Predictability and consistency are calming in our chaotic world. This book has far more to offer than recipes. It's mere presence on my shelf  reminds me the importance of what I grew up knowing about Sunday dinner.  (But it doesn't have to be Sunday. Ann Moses made legendary pizza every Friday night for years. Years.) Many of the recipes are not quite #whole30 compliant, but that's not the focus. Finding the compromise and creating the beauty around what comes from making the effort is the goal. 

      Thanksgiving is tomorrow. So many things for which to give thanks. Here's to being a good steward of the abundance of God's good grace. God be honored in all things. HE is Worthy. 

Childhood, C.S. Lewis and Books

"There were books in the study, books in the drawing room, books in the cloakroom, books (two deep) in the great bookcase on the landing, books in a bedroom, books piled as high a my shoulder in the cistern attic, books of all kinds reflecting every transient stage of my parents' interest, book readable and unreadable, books suitable for a child and books most emphatically not.

 Nothing was forbidden to me."

C.S. Lewis,

 Surprised by Joy, The Shape of My Early Life.

Recently my brother's position at Palmer Homes for Children led him to meet up with Ben Carson, presidential candidate and well known physician in pediatric surgery. 

Ben's mother has for many years been a she-ro of mine. She decided to turn off the t.v. 

I almost don't need to complete the story, because it has become so well known, but that's where the story for my kids seem to stop-- in pain. They know when mommy thinks about Ben Carson, t.v. goes off and the books come out. But truthfully, I don't think they care. Recently, my youngest, Henry 'Rabbit' as he's known at tennis class, has been reading aloud to me. He brought home the class read-aloud, The Tale of Despereaux, and read 2 chapters each night for several nights in a row. This may seem odd at bed-time, aren't I, the parent supposed to be doing the reading? Well, if he doesn't read, he falls asleep. He's exausted by the end of the day. He's a contender for the energizer bunny. 

But, like Isak Dinesen, I wonder, will he have a song of me? What will that song sound like? Sharp shrieks and snaps, or snuggles and love, and consistency. Will he remember me as the jailkeeper or the one he could count on? Even after last night where he thought he'd been left at church.... oh my, what comes around goes around,
 but for me the karma just needs to change(ironically, I was left many, many times at church, weddings...now I do it to my kids?) 

I really believe he knows ho much I care, about him, and that there is 
some reason we 'go to so much trouble' to manage and guide him. 

From the breakfast of lucky charms at school, or the overdose of t.v. in the afternoon, we try to curb, guide, teach, promote, whatever you want to call it- censure? Whatever... 

I was blessed with him, in God's providence and wisdom,

 to be his guide,

 his life's mother. 

I. am. the momma. 

So when I read, 'Nothing was forbidden to me,' I see a child in a well chosen library of an adult, but not selected for a child. Not one that has censored out all the books that have a love scene, or knights battling to the death, but one that has been purchased, collected, received from a variety of means. I look around mine and see the years of sifting through, sorting and de-accessing, filtered by my own choices, not for my children's delight.  I look back and realize my parents books were chosen from their spiritual bend, not to influence me, but because of who they were and what they would naturally choose. MY books as well as my life, may be a reflection of me later, and will most certainly, for better or for worse influence my children. But it will be his choice, just as it is mine, and just as it was C.S. Lewis' choice to decide which we might re-read again, take ownership of, and become the person we are meant to be. 

(Reading Rock-a-bye Farm for the millioneth time. Henry 3, Jack 6.Baton Rouge, LA 2009)

Lifetime meds #31 - November 1st

#230 children who wake up healthy in the morning - happy or not.

#231 that halloween is over, the candy will eventually be gone.

#232 beautiful, breathtaking leaves for fall.

#233 the cool weather.

#234 books my son wants to read for school 'The Apple and the Arrow'

#235 his spontaneous recitation of John 1:1-3 during the sermon with the minister.

#236 that the Word came

#237 that Jesus did come, He's worthy of being more than just a friend, He's worthy of our worship as King of our lives.