Glimpses ~ June 2020

The color of the flowers at my wedding were a disappointment. In that many thought the event was miraculous in itself, this seems a trivial detail. It was a lovely occasion over all. One that we determined was appropriately elaborate for two 30 year old types who might have never matched up in another lifetime. After 23 years though, when I see the color I desired for that day, I take notice. I remember how my Mom asked the florist if there was anything he could do. She's faithful that way, as Dad was too. But there was little to change the color of that flower. Although that florist tried, and when my bouquet was returned to me, unanimously everyone agreed how much better they looked, worried the bride was going to snap. 
But I didn't and we proceeded into our life together, with no idea what delights and disappointments lay ahead. 
Yesterday the perfect flower appeared at Publix. People refer to these type of sightings as 'unicorns,' as do I. I also think of them as 'glimpses' into perfection. Too many at one time and a circus will inevitably occur, tickets must be sold, lights too bright must be illuminated. But these by the wayside 'glimpses' are a gift. 
It would have been ridiculously ungracious of me years ago to have truly complained about the roses, especially in light of the effort to which everyone had gone to in order to make the day so special. I look back on how my parents graciously endured many disappointments- their own, or theirs shared- throughout their lives. If you talked to them, and still talk to Mom now, there is always, always something for which to be thankful. Glimpses, I believe, are what kept them going. Glimpses of Eden and glimpses of Heaven. 
I find myself in the in-between, maybe even the shadowlands. Sorrow will cloud our ability to see the glimpses, especially if we only feed the sorrow. Again, I think about my parents. I am thankful for their persistent effort to press forward into everyday with a renewed spirit, to try to fix the little things, while handling the bigger things in life with patience and perseverance, sorrow or celebration. 
There are so many things I cannot fix right now-- in my home, in my community, in the world. But because tragedy seems to be everywhere does not mean all that was once good - wasn't good. Because unrest seems everywhere, doesn't mean we don't still need rest. We need 'glimpses', moments where the proverbial, yes, spiritual light shines bright. And in that light we may see a 'broken reed' upon which we've been leaning too long, and see behind the bush a ram the Lord intended the entire time, the 'glimpse', the provision, the gift. 

Forget-me-nots and Polka-dots ~ December 2019

Watching Miss Universe last night was noteworthy in many ways.  The pagentry of all of the costumes representing their countries and their unique cultures was amazing. Miss Ukraine (Eric's family heritage) was stunning, as was the winner, Miss South Africa. So beautiful, truly breathtaking were each of the women who had made it to the world stage to represent their country. What was even more amazing were the accomplishments of each of these women. Some were lawyers, some were spokespersons for profoundly important charitable organizations. In a moment though, they were quick to remind the watcher they were once thought to be unqualified by their ethnicity and dark skin. Dismissed. 

Miss South Africa mentioned specifically just this, while her grace and glamour inspired watching youth of color around the world. She inspired me, this white middled aged mom of Quaker, English decent. 
I knew my sister-in-law Catherene, would be watching. I found myself rooting for Miss Phillippines, knowing 'Cat' would be cheering too. On Thanksgiving, we all went to Jeff and Cat's house and savored her homemade Lo-mein and Spring Rolls, filled with pork and chicken. We had all the customary 'traditional' foods too, but the first to go is always the spring rolls. They were especially tasty as her mother, Conchita, visiting from the Phillipines, prepared them.  Every year brings change, including my nephew  Angelo, reminding me how important it is not to get stuck in the past, but to move forward, with bravery-- if required. We must accept change, and seek beauty where ever it shows up. We must train our eyes to see beauty and opportunity and life!  Our minds will look for safety and familiarity, *even if that familiarity is ladened with grief*, but think of what we'll miss, if we stick to our ruts and never venture out. If there is anything Cat has taught me, it is this-- to venture out. I can't imagine what we all would have missed if she hadn't. 

Jeff and Cat were married very soon after Dad passed from this life.  It would seem, that year, I was starting all over, hanging on more tightly to familiar things, thoughts, moments. Fearful.  Grief does that. I clung to broken ways, fearful methods. Time heals though. I now hear him  (Dad's voice in my mind) cheering every new goal met, every challenge embraced, and most importantly(haha), I hear him asking if there is any left-over Lo-mein. (The man loved tasty foods.) The laughter may rattle the sorrow out of its rut, but its so easy to teeter back into the cavern. 

In June of 2019, I listened to this TED Talk, as about 51 million others did.  

"We don't move on, we move forward."

For a special family occasion, I wrapped presents in polka dot paper, and Cat was so pleased, for in the Phillipines, polka-dots represent joy and happiness. I am reminded again how choosing to see joy in little places is really *our choice.* Attitude is everything, Being gracious to ourselves in our moments of challenge and weakness is vital, but being our own coach to train our thoughts to see beauty is essential. Holding our 'forget-me-nots' while moving forward is the key. 
*I add this today, in honor of Cat's father who just passed this week. There is a time to mourn. Mourning is a part of life. I pray that you feel God's comfort and heal with good memories. 

March 2019 ~ Mercy At the Speed of Hiking

I believe the sun rising signals the start of the day. 

I believe the seasons are a blessing. 

I believe our bodies are made for the speed of walking
 and our souls for running, 

towards God's goodness and away from evil. 

I believe in God's divine plans for me and all creation. 

So I'll savor the sunrise and give thanks. 

When life begins to move too fast, I'm thankful for the new habit of walking. This morning I walked our local park whose trees you can just see on the left. It's more open and I can choose how far and which direction to gather the best view. Today I chose to walk in the sunshine, as it's still cold. It is my current chosen physical 'labor' I think Edie calls it, as we don't have the same amount of physical movement in our sedentary lives as our ancestors. 

Our hike this weekend was breathtaking. We visited Tallulah Gorge, about an hour and a half away from home. I went specifically to cross the suspension bridge, to revisit a place that causes great fear. We can do hard things. It's needful to push into things that challenge us, and this time it wasn't the height but the number of ascending and descending steps. My calves haven't had that kind of workout in a while. The best was this picture. All four of us collected of free will in one photo for posterity. 

We did it. #ihike2019 8/52, in the books. 

Laura, Jack 15, Eric, Henry 12 

Tallulah Gorge 2019

'Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

His mercy endures for ever.

...

I called on the Lord in distress;

The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.

the Lord is on my side; I will not fear. 

What can man do to me?' 

from ~   Psalm 118

December 2018 ~ #whole30 #ihike2019 #lifetimemeds #readthebooksihave

Before the Christmas rush was really on, I had already decided some things would change-- this year. Of course, folks have thought I was crazy to start a #whole30 diet in December. Who does some thing like this?? This is the season of indulgence and all good things. But just like the book says, no time like the present. And then there's this constant reminder: 

A Year from Now, 

You'll Wish You Started Today

So I started. I've documented everything. Every. Thing. 

I even had to visit my GP, and was able to brag. I told her I was actually looking forward to seeing her in March to see my bloodwork. 

I don't  (but that's for another post..) know exactly what pushed me, but I know hearing about someone's medical cost for things that could be prevented with early(ier) life changes in diet and lifestyle made a huge impact. 
I just don't want to live like that. I want to live. Fully. In a way that honors God and supports my family, not weighs it down. 
I've been watching Heidi Scovel hike this year, and have decided I'll set a real goal. #ihike2019 is the code for my present count of 0/52. Why should I wait for a doctor to prescribe what we already know? 
I talk to my BFF almost everyday and for some years she's been talking about Whole 30. She recommended reading 
'It Starts with Food,'  
I read it. And jumped in. All the way.
 I've been successful, with my weaknesses right at the forefront of my plan. No compromises. It's been almost perfect. And I can say, I'll keep up most of it after I'm done. I've never felt better in my life. I don't want to go back. I have 48.5 more years to go to get to 100, and after reading this article today, I think I can make it. Why shouldn't I? The gardening I plan to do to support this diet should surely work! Not to mention fresh eggs! 

One of my 5 chickens as of December 2018.

 Gardens including an asparagus bed ready for winter. 

My chicken's egg on the left. Store bought on the right. 

Over the last year, (and continuing into the next,) I have been reading many books in preparation for teaching Advanced American History IEW Writing in the fall 2019. And I believe I have all I need for that endeavor, so I made another decision. 
This year: I will buy no new books. None. (This is where to lay bets folks.)
I will #readthebooksihave 
I gathered up some reeeally good ones in the last year. One in particular is a great place to start for the upcoming new year. 

Shannan Martin holds nothing back. Should any of us, when it comes to loving our fellow man? loving God? 

2019 will be an interesting year for sure. I will certainly begin counting my #lifetimemeds again, and enjoying hobbies that feed my soul. 

What are your goals for 2019? 

Remember~A year from now, you'll wish you started today! 

August 2017

Today will be an unusual day with a total eclipse to occur this afternoon. The boys will attempt to make viewer boxes, while I pick up glasses from a friend. I hope we just watch the video on tv. My eyes hurt thinking about it.
I'm working through IEW training videos and preparing for Summit's first class this Wednesday.  I have gathered the comments from The Close Reads Podcast Discussion Group on Facebook that occurred this May. I was heading back and forth to Memphis, and beginning my preparations for teaching IEW's 'Following Narnia, Book 1' this fall. Low and behold, guess what came up? The discussion about the winner of the Children's Literature Challenge from brackify. Who knew that the book order was such an issue, but now that I'm in over my head studying all things Narnia, I can totally relate. So, instead of studying the given source text for the lesson, I'm going to write a brief compilation of the comments. A true full-circle moment for me awaits.
We have a million birds all over our yard. As I type a small finch is resting and singing on the rocker outside my window. Peace. #lifemeds. #onethousandgifts

December 2015 - Lifemeds #50

I was encouraged this week to continue traditions. And longevity, consistency, even with break-down, will render a few traditions. The good kind.
For two years now, we have anticipated, waited in the box office line early in the morning, and gotten ourselves ready on a Saturday night, to head down to the Athens Symphony's free performance of a Christmas Concert. This opportunity is beyond amazing. It is a fully orchestrated, exquisitely divine effort on behalf of a wonderfully talented group of musicians, accompanied by the equally talented,Athens Chorus. The first half of the performance is more somber with a first half closing performance Handel's 'Messiah'- the Chorus portion. I knew I could pass on to glory after I'd managed somehow to get my hoolilgan bunch to this moment in our lives. To hear and stand with my family during this is a taste of heaven for me.
This year, we were treated to 'For Unto us a Child is Given', along with many other more traditional carols.
Inspired to connect and synthesize by my reading this summer, we continued to listen Pandora, from a channel called 'Frederic Handel'. Delight is mine. Over the next few days, I'll read passages from The Handel's Messiah Family Advent Reader, by Donna W. Payne and Fran Lenzo.

Most of our traditions, often painfully endured by active boys, are paving and smoothing their souls. Mine and my dear husband's too, but seeing them give in, listen even briefly. And hear them draw comparisons between this and last year. My joy is complete.

Another tradition, happening for much longer, is that of savoring in a variety of ways, Charles Dicken's, Christmas Carol. The text we have is a copy I picked up in an antique store. The illustrations are amazing. So detailed, showing Marley's horrifying teeth, and ghosts in an unforgettable way.
We have watched Jim Carey's/Disney's, 'A Christmas Carol' as well as the Star Trek Captain's version. And I'm sure from the reading, their comparision's were not favorable. It seemed in this version, Scrooge was less frightened than he was annoyed by the ghost of Marley. But everything but that is perfect in that scene. Even as Marley approaches the window the sash rises, just as it says in the book. The mother and her child are in the street, and was mentioned by Jack to be accurate as the ghost tried to give them a treasure chest, but could not.
A few years ago, in a December, Eric gave what we call in our faith tradition, 'the invitation', to give one's life to Christ, be reconciled publically to His body. He referred to this passage, 'It is required of everyman......', to walk among and consider his fellowman. Deeply, a passage from which every person may draw.
Life-meds #50
~blessings which I may manage.
~needs sufficiently met
~community
~home
~health
~a sovereign and faithful God
~a Savior who seeks those who seek Him.

Reading 2015 - Commonplace Book

When you stumble upon something good you want to share.
For nearly 20 years, I've been chatting daily with my best friend about everything.
The day we first moved apart, we simply said, 'I'll talk to you tomorrow.' And we have.
Changes haven't altered our conversation. While my kiddos, both, got on the bus, I had talked her into Classical Conversations. We talked on. When hers went for a year to public school, we honored each other's schedules and broke our unspoken no-call rule on Saturday. Family-first and all.
But yesterday, I told her about something I knew she'd love. Sometimes there really isn't enough time to tell it all, and I'd only mentioned over the summer I was reading this  or that. She didn't know I was studying. I was digging deeper.

I had begun while reading Karen Glass's Consider This not realizing I was using the very tool implemented by great readers for years, perhaps centuries.
The following is from Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace, by Sarah Mackenzie, famous most lately for her phenomenal Read Aloud Revival.
-- "Commonplace books aren't anything new. For centuries, these personal collections have played a significant role in the way scholars read, learn, and remember. They paint a beautiful picture of an individual's growth over time-- of his or her personal journey of learning and growing." Passages, thoughts, reflections, "Anything I read that causes me to pause and read again--to stop and savor the words or ponder the message-- it all belongs in my book."
I don't know about you, but I seem to hear a lot, but can't remember where I read or heard it. And the only way I have been successful in collecting thoughts is to gather them together. Whether it is related to faith, school, marriage, children, family, food, ..... It goes in my book. 

This isn't a recipe collection. It's a collection of the bigger discussions I have in my head, so that when I actually am speaking with a person, my words are clearer. I can effectively share my thoughts. Perhaps the most important reason, I can be at peace with my thoughts and convictions. Being a functioning mother/wife/friend is important to honoring God. Sanity is priority.
I have found a commonplace book to be sanity-saving. I have been able to generate gumption I didn't know I could muster, when my life's events seemed to go against what I knew to be true. I carefully and humbly add, it has helped me submit to God's purposes, when the path of least resistance has been so easily accessible.
Mine isn't a prayer journal, yet it contains prayers.
It isn't a book-study, yet, it does contain copious notes from selected books.
I know it's working when books cross paths. Especially when podcast/recorded word crosses with timeless written. Like these and these.
I've recently gathered up a few new to me texts that will also receive their dose of notes and marking. But the commonplace book is the billboard where I can collect these writers and many times great thinkers,-- have a conversation with them. Call them back to my living room, drink coffee with them and visit. I can wander to another mother's journey and see her notes on how an idea plays out in real life. Because she's reading the same things I've been, my commonplace book in hand, her insights to be pondered.

I use the $1 cardboard cover composition books. But that's me. I use the metal grabber clips to keep only a few items that might have been scratched out when I didn't have my book. But these get transcribed or taped in.
I wish not to be pulled to and fro by every idea out there, troubled in my soul, wondering if I'm foolish for believing something. I wish to take every thought captive, or at least a few that might aid in honoring God more fully.
I have only received 'Teaching from Rest' just a day ago. (Merry Christmas to me.)
and have also received Mind to Mind: an Essay Towards a Philosophy of Education by Charlotte Mason and Karen Glass. I remember Karen 'talking' about it this summer. I couldn't wait, but had to, looking forward to see how she accomplished this endeavor.
So while these are the thinking books I have decided to savor this spring semester, I shared with Leslie a couple of others I've selected to study. 

Total Truth by Nancy Pearcy. (scored with Dad's notes included-- I'll return it Dad....)
The Ring of Truth J.B. Phillips A Translator's Testimony.
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
The Feminization of American Culture by Ann Douglas (selected based on a reference made in a podcast at Circe Institute Conference by Angelina Stanford 'What is Woman? A Reexamination of Feminism and the Church.' found under Resources- Free Audio Library.
Your God is Too Small by J.B. Phillips




One further thought I would add, because Leslie brought it up.
Ann Voskamp has been sharing her blessings for years now. Her book brought the story full-circle, explaining how she came to her need to count 1000 gifts.
I have called mine 'lifemeds' and stopped counting individually and just listed the posts.
I can easily reference, back by title. But I'm seeing now, the beauty of writing these in a composition book, much like my commonplace book.
I can see the penmanship, and the coffee stain, the wine spill, the stress or ease of my handwriting. So fewer posts, online, as I tend to get sucked into media quicker than I count blessings and gifts. I am indebted to those who have begun the greater conversations, of faith and confidence and to friends, like Leslie, who think great thoughts, no matter where they heard them or generated them. Her thoughts on contentment were shared and I'm sure have already made their way into her commonplace book today. 

October 2015 - Lifemeds #48

'Be kind.'
'Kindness always.'
These are the usual words you'll hear me say first when an argument or disagreement, no matter how mild it may be, breaksout within our home. 
I've taken to making these signs, on leftover wood, and pass them out as gifts. It seems to be a universally understood way of saying so many things one might wish to share with children arguing-- adults for that matter. 

While words will stick if repeated over and over, often its the experience of being kind to someone or something that will create a memory, a feeling that cannot be reversed. The momentum of goodness is started, and one cannot deny its existence. In our world, pets seem to take over. Exhibit 'A'. As temporary as this moment was, (she's not allowed to remain here)its a telling moment. Peaceful, even. Lucy is here to stay. 

Curly and Larry, the cats, are long members of the family. As abrasive as the light in the photo is, their calming influence on our home is just as firmly planted as they are cozily snuggled in this bed.
Every part and action of a home is telling.
While the world rages on, we will continue to keep the peace here in our home. Serenity. For now.    

Life Meds #47 August 2015

Birthdays in August- we celebrated both boys, Jack 12, and Henry 9. Nana made a Mandarin orange cake for candles. All the adults had 2 slices. 

We started academics at home this week. Ancient History Writing IEW is amazing. Any edition is great. We have already tackled ziggurats in style.

Dory shared her garden of volunteer tomatoes and peppers. I canned and have shared. But still have plenty if Jalepenos. Yum.

So hard to believe we're in the last year before teens. And Henry. This boy.

Football. Oh my. 9U. Love this boy.

Every Saturday till November.

Counting my blessings. So thankful for life, opportunity. 

Life Meds. Don't stop counting. One Thousand Gifts.

Summer 2015 - Lifemeds #46

The summer has flown by. 2 months were not enough. June and July. August 5 brings me to the first day of school for Henry, and 2 weeks from our official start up for Jack.
It seems it has never stopped.
We had a wonderful summer, full of adventure, swimming, and fun. Heat brought a longing for fall and winter, seasons that change our hearts and minds.
Here's a glimpse, don't blink-- you'll miss it!!

Life's problems are just 

the management of blessings. 

Counting them is Lifemeds. 

#46 times to be exact.  

April 2015 - Lifemeds #45 Spring, Home/School and Boys

(melt my heart, picture day)

Jack at Classical Conversations

 Story of the World - Middle Ages

Buddies in IEW 'All Things Fun and Fascinating' post-discussion of Thomas Edison

Easter- likely his last egg hunt

A few more to go...

Tennis for Henry

Nerf War with friends

And A tree Fort. 

Lifemeds, Counting my gifts, blessed .