Uninvited /The Best Yes/ Love Does ~ Bookshelf No. 6 ~ December 2020

 A few weeks ago I participated in a gathering of friends food and fellowship at Debbie's. We were to bring a book to swap. Hello. Yes, please. We were instructed to write a  brief 'teaser' passage on the wrapping without giving it away. I knew some of the group would be gardeners and foodies, so I selected    Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I keep a handful of these, thrifted and like new books so I was ready to go. But this was after much deliberation. I also knew this crowd to be powerful mamas, and might appreciate another author that made a difference in my life at a challenging time. 

Our books all wrapped before the Swap

Dad passed away in September 4 years ago, and by December of that year, I was a hot mess. Loss and grief have a way of resurrecting old wounds, hurts you thought had turned into scars. But they weren't and I was what Dad often referred to as 'the walking wounded.' This came back to me hard this week when I learned of a teammate of Henry losing his mother  two days ago. Parent loss is.... ageless, timeless. Losing a loved one, as a dear sister said, is like losing a part of your hedgerow that blocks the winds on your heart. Weakened is an understatement for where I found myself. I was Christmas shopping with the boys and had stepped into Christian Books on Epps, before it closed, and saw  Uninvited, Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst.  I snatched it up, paid the bill and forgot what else I'd needed to purchase(not an uncommon phenomenon in my life-purchasing books instead of milk, eggs, TP.) I'm pretty sure I ordered pizza, put the boys in front of 'Elf,' and read the entire book.  Some of the brokenness in my life heard passages anew such as Psalm 23. The Lord doesn't remove us from our hardship, but He prepares a table, He provides for us what we need in the moment. He does. Chapter titles like, ' Moving through the Desperate In-Between,' made sense to me. Considering how the enemy could use my weakened state to play upon my fear, this passage was highly marked up: 'The enemy loves to take our rejection and twist it into raw, irrational fear that  God really doesn't have a good plan for us. This fear is a corrupting companion. It replaces the truths we've trusted with hopeless lies. Satan knows what consumes us controls us. Therefore the more consumed we are with rejection, the more he can control our emotions. our thinking, and our actions.' 

Fast forward. Still thrifting books, I recently found Lysa TerKeurst next book, The Best Yes. I have since participated in therapeutic counseling as well as Life Coaching with  Edie Wadsworth at Life In Grace. So many things have happened in four years, but I've found investing in taking care of yourself mentally, as well as physically and spiritually, is crucial. On my chalkwall is largely written, 

'A Year From Now, You'll Wish You'd Started Today.' 

But what if you are in the midst of life and you don't know what you should start - or stop? And not to add any pressure, but often self-help books are written by highly accomplished women with businesses and ministries known world wide. So taking great caution with who I let into my head is important. There are a million people who will offer suggestions of ways to use your mind and talents, but being able to listen to God's voice along side intuition and make wise, informed decisions is priceless gift. I've mentioned before one of my favorite quotes from  The Best Yes:  

'You won't ever be able to keep up with unrealistic. 

Unrealistic demands lead to undercurrents of failure.' 

 This isn't the typical 'Obstacle is the way' type rhetoric you hear in the average motivational book. Yes, that book is great too! But what if you are burning out, and you really need to assess that to actually say yes to? 

Another favorite quote in Lysa's book comes from Bob Goff, from Love Does. 

'The world can make you think that love can be picked up at a garage sale or enveloped in a Hallmark card. But the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright... The brand of love Jesus offers is... more about presence than understaking a project. It's a brand of love that doesn't just think about good things, or agree with them, or talk about them... Love Does.'

Can I just say- if you are suffering from 'analysis paralysis,' and want to get off that treadmill, Lysa is a good guide. She is not just another writer; she has walked some fearful paths unexpectedly and still found her 'Best Yes.' 

This season of Christmas is often filled with entirely too much choice over what to do and how we will spend our time. I'm exausted. Really. This year has been more than I can handle at times. But each time I reassess, regroup and consider what is really my 'best yes,' I'm better for it and my family benefits from the best version of me I can be. When I am more centered and aware, when the chaos of my people-pleasing ways goes away, I am able to be more present, be a presence for good, do in the most meaningful way. 

March 2019 ~ Mercy At the Speed of Hiking

I believe the sun rising signals the start of the day. 

I believe the seasons are a blessing. 

I believe our bodies are made for the speed of walking
 and our souls for running, 

towards God's goodness and away from evil. 

I believe in God's divine plans for me and all creation. 

So I'll savor the sunrise and give thanks. 

When life begins to move too fast, I'm thankful for the new habit of walking. This morning I walked our local park whose trees you can just see on the left. It's more open and I can choose how far and which direction to gather the best view. Today I chose to walk in the sunshine, as it's still cold. It is my current chosen physical 'labor' I think Edie calls it, as we don't have the same amount of physical movement in our sedentary lives as our ancestors. 

Our hike this weekend was breathtaking. We visited Tallulah Gorge, about an hour and a half away from home. I went specifically to cross the suspension bridge, to revisit a place that causes great fear. We can do hard things. It's needful to push into things that challenge us, and this time it wasn't the height but the number of ascending and descending steps. My calves haven't had that kind of workout in a while. The best was this picture. All four of us collected of free will in one photo for posterity. 

We did it. #ihike2019 8/52, in the books. 

Laura, Jack 15, Eric, Henry 12 

Tallulah Gorge 2019

'Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

His mercy endures for ever.

...

I called on the Lord in distress;

The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.

the Lord is on my side; I will not fear. 

What can man do to me?' 

from ~   Psalm 118

31 Days #1 Channeling the Classical Passion Before and After School

This post was the 1st  written in conjunction with The Nester's 31 days Link.
Classical education has become trendy. There. I said it. Everytime you turn around, someone is talking about Latin, putting their kids in CC groups, memory work, grammar. But as it is so well described in Douglas Wilson's book, wearing a uniform & having the right texts on your desk do not a classical education make.
I am a huge proponent of classical education. CC groups, Latin, memory work & even uniforms (they're just .. cute.) But I'm a bit hamstrung right now. We, that is, my husband and I have found ourselves needing the kind of structure that we can't provide solely at home. Likewise, we cannot afford the kind of school that might provide that. And furthermore, we're really not entirely sure that the kind of school (a private classical christian school) might be the best thing for one or both of our children.
But to get straight to the point, I am needing to channel my classical beliefs into the time I have with my kids, outside of the hours they participate in government schools. You may be thinking, if she has all the time to write a blog about it, why aren't the kids at home? Suffice it to say, my husband and I are not in mutual agreement that this is the best for our family. When the home's sanity is in jeopardy, one chooses the entire family's best interest and one's spouse's desire. So off they go.   
But to the point of my 31 days. How does one continue and provide classical content when children are away 8 hours of the day, with homework that may or maynot compliment my desires. 
 Start with the end in mind. Look at the end-game.
Today, my son asked ' will I go to the same school next year?' Like I told him when he was at home, one day, one year at a time. We will assess this, but starting with the end in mind, one must have a plan. Our mutual objectives can be met, if our compromises are not to alienate the other's desires for our children. If we are all honest, we know there are things we disagree on about our children. Some matter, some don't.
I had to decide, does/did it matter to me, whether they were exactly in programs associated with homeschool or classical groups, or if they were just classically educated?
It has been said by many great thinkers, something like ' I never let school get in the way of my education.' I have always felt this way.
What I grew up with was a Dad who conditioned me to know that for every 1 hour in the classroom, there were 3 to be dealt with outside the classroom. Perhaps not in 3rd grade. But the idea was that a lecture does not an education make. What goes on after class is equally as important as what goes on during.
Am I making my kids do 2 sets of curriculum, well, yes & no.
I'll deal with the 'no' first.
I dug deep into the curriculum, and still do everytime the subject/topic/literature selection/math skill/ changes.
Everything is on line. Everything. The curriculum is all there. Georgia is a state notorious for 'low national standards', testing against one'self to keep the bar low.' The good news is GA has adopted Common Core which is nation wide.  (If you are a sold-out home educator this is no consolation, just a fact to be argued, read on if you want, stop reading and find another 31 dayer whose husband is in full agreement with home-education. In all kindness, this 31 day is not meant to be argumentative or undermining. Just one woman's path. documented for 31 days.)
I grab the subjects right there, as the teacher has sent home the assignments(via e-mail) & weekly schedule and I'm armed with what I need to structure home study. He has homework anyway, so I structure it meeting the required work with a sharpened aim.
I break it down into grammar, and work with it. I add what I think needs adding, and go from there. It has been blessing (to me personally) that our curriculum worked well with what I'd planned to cover this year.. the ancient period. They covered a unit in Greece and discussed the influences on our American Government.
While he continued to bring home random library books, (not always my preferred choices) I read 'The Odyssey' with him at night. We continue to compliment the subjects at school with our Classical Conversations CD's for Cycle 1. Our Bible study has been covering the Judges, and likewise the 10 Commandments are a part of our memory work. A song about the Judges has likewise made it into our routine, and we (as a family)have daily read from the same 3 Psalms as well as listened to the entire CC CD daily.
So I threw in some of the 'yes' (2 curriculums) as I went. But you get the idea. Kids are going to be learning something while they are not reviewing their times tables. I need to know, no matter where they are, with whom how long, what is the grammar of my home. What will they find most important, the important grammar.
Fearless Inventory
I have found  it has been easier for me to 'light the fire' as opposed to 'filling the cup', with our current situation. Opposition in our home wasn't over the issue of home/away. It was more about actually getting it done. Peace was not a part of our home. My partner in this effort is now my husband. He's the one reading slowly and methodically with a patience that they will remember on a weekday morning, while I pack lunches, & bookbags. Because they are seeing his participation.
And our mutual agreement. Our united front. The kids know, this is what we'll be doing every weekday morning. If it's not CC, it's a classical music CD. But it's not just the quality of the grammar, or the repetition of the grammar-- it's the environment/ambience of the moment. The spirit in which it's delivered.  
The morning is packed with the 'grammar' of our lives, for some classical music may not be in your grammar. It's in mine. and that's something else I'm at peace with. It may seem 'the thing to do' trendy even, -- to make one's kids listen to classical music so they'll be classically educated. (the use of classical is coincidental) But that really is a part of our world. Allowing them to see that it wasn't just because it was 'required' by CC, and that we really enjoy it, and that the CD's we play were Daddy's before we married, when he didn't even own a TV..... ( I could do with a lesson in Essentials grammar. lol...)  The grammar of our lives and the musical knowledge of our home can be just as easily heard in the cajun, country, or jazz dare I say, even rock in our home? The sacred hymns are integral. Nightly sung.  On the doorposts.
Perhaps what I'll discover in the this 31 days, are the habits we actually do keep (Oh, Charlotte..) Perhaps I'll find out what really happens when this particular change comes about in a family. What we're really made of.

As October rolls around, for 31 days, I hope not only to bring out the fall garland, but maximize on the beauty of Channeling the Classical  Passion Before and After School.  To not just 'fill the cup' but genuinely 'light the fire,' in my heart and my family's with whatever resources are at my disposal.

Reverence - Lifetime Meds #27

Teaching kids to pray... hmmm. Right now, Henry has the motions down, but our content is really, mmm, questionable. 'Thankyou God for Godzilla, & Scooby Doo, and let us go to the big pool tomorrow that's really deep, AAAAmen." And there you have it. And during someone else praying... he's praying, sort of speaking in 'Henry tongues'. A prayer unto itself, loudly enough so that he can't hear you say, 'it's not your turn to pray.' This kid will not be denied....

Enter our discussion about reverence. We've been struggling with alot of changes, so we're playing alot of catch up on alot of different issues. Currently, reverence in prayer & chain of command are the 2 biggies.

Praying what's on your heart is one thing, but the silly stuff just doesn't cut it. Afterall, we're talking to the Creator of the Universe, and even tho this is Abba FAther, there are still issues of what's appropriate & courtesy, and it is my job to teach it. Canned prayers are not what I'm suggesting, but respect during someone else praying or using it for a platform for power & control. Not going to happen.

I don't worry about my children's faith in God. God is big, bigger than I can ever describe Him, but my confidence & seriousness about Who He Is speaks volumes. Am I serious, respectful, but trusting enough to even laugh when I'm happy & thankful? Do I share my joy over good times to my Father in Heaven, who I believe watches me while I do whatever my hand finds to do? Do I stop the tears just because I may not be able to speak the words if I cry?

Perceiving the difference-- is my prayer & request to God just now. Wisdom to parent well. Not perfectly, but well.

Reverently thankful to the Giver of all for:

#177 Rivers in which to play, with slippery rocks & breathtaking views

#178 Brave children

#179 Strong Husband

#180 time to enjoy it

#181 health to carry me through the day

#182 worship & fellowship with believers in Christ

#183 God's strength to carry me through during transition

#184 Christ who redeemed me and made me presentable before God

#185 Opportunity & a bright future

#186 a lesson today on Psalm 1 & Psalm 15

Join me with others at A Holy Experience in thanksgiving for One Thousand Gifts.

I call it my Lifetime Meds, (dose #27)

Be blessed, friend. ('blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly... but who meditates on the Word of God day & night... he will be like the tree who is planted by the waters.' Psalm 1 loosely paraphrased)

King David, an ancestor of Jesus

I'm enjoying so much, one of the books on my 2010 reading list, Dilligently Seeking God, today's post made me want to mention this book again. (I'm actually using the on-line version in my favorite blog list.)

Today's entry :

The Psalms David wrote are so inspiring, his needs, wants & hearts desires are so exposed so purely. In this devotion for today, David acknowledges God's strength & his own weakness. II Samuel 22:36-37

'Your gentlenss has made me great', a reminder of how God handles the creation, unique from all other.

I recommend this devotion book as it's described- for those who wish to step it up, when it comes to one's faith.

I want my kids to know all about David, the shepherd turned king, and to appreciate his prayers and psalms. To be able to pray like David, with confidence in His love and desire for each of our hearts.

So tonight we talked about Psalm 139, how God can see us everywhere, day and night to God are just the same, and we sang over & over, 'only a little boy David, only a babbling brook....'

And Jack learned, David, who slew the Philistine all-star, was an ancestor of Jesus, born in the city of David, King of Kings.

His Peace through His Presence

"What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me? I will take up the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the Lord."

"I will wash my hands in innocence, so I will go about Your altar, O Lord, that I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all Your wondrous works."

Psalm 116:12 & Psalm 26: 6

Lord, let me love the habitation of Your house, and may our home be where Your glory dwells.

Psalm 103

Psalm 103 seems to say it all for me today. Reading through the Sunday news paper locally, I really became overwhelmed with what one person can do. Sometimes it seems all to big, too difficult and so far removed from what can effectively be achieved. School systems spend time trying to resolve truancy with a truance department, staffed with new buildings needing funding. Just a symptom of something that can't be legislated.
I say consider this Psalm. God is sovreign. 22 verses of healing, rescue, mercy and justice. All on the Divine Designer's terms. Thank you Lord for Your providence, goodness and faithfulness.

Revisiting the 23rd Psalm

We are on our way to visit family to celebrate a 70th birthday. Eric's 97 year old grandmother will be there, from Michigan, as well as all of his siblings. On the way we did everything, except for our old favorite, hide and seek. Yes, we play hide and seek in the car. Its on the honor system. You pick a location, our house, Nana's house, someone's house or building, then you take turns hiding. You have to tell when you are found. It's really quite entertaining. I'll have to remember that for tomorrow...
We did read the story of David and Goliath aloud. I read it all, even the part when David cuts off the Giant's head. You always read something new or forgotten when reading a favorite story. Today didn't disappoint. Jack asked as we read along, " who did the PHilistines call out to? Who were the gods they worshipped?" So glad Eric was with us, he answered Dagon-- I couldn't remember. But I do remember that Dagon was the statue who's arms fell off when they had stolen the Ark of the Covenant. Love that story. He even falls over. It's really a great illustration to kids about idolatry. Anyway, I had forgotten that they had been calling to their gods, but David called back and said he'd feed their carcasses to the birds, and kill Goliath. He declared that God would deliver him and his people. He didn't need the armor that Saul tried to provide for him, but he used 1 stone in a sling to bring that giant down. He didn't even go with a sword, but picked up the massive one that belonged to Goliath and cut off his head. Remember later that this is the same sword stored in the Ark of the Covenant? And David used it again, when he was hiding from Saul...Ill have to check on that one.
Anyway, we read aloud the 23rd Psalm which we are renewing in our memories or learning for the first time. It is precious to hear Henry say, 'He restores my soul.' and 'No evil'. I am reminded of the many times we learned this in Bible classes as a little child. And how precious it is to know that even in the presence of our enemies or facing calamity, we can look to God as a little child and know He will protect us as a dilligent shepherd. He will lead us beside still water, and restore our souls, if we will only turn to Him.
I hope one day when my kiddos are bigger, and in need they will look back in their memories and this Psalm will be stirred up, and they will find comfort when they need it.

Imagery of the Psalmist

Elaine Bateman covers the thoughts for the morning. A beautiful list of images upon which we can reflect about our God and our Savior. May your day be blessed by skipping on over to her site.