Moving has become an unwelcome friend. Several times in college is an understatment, and 4 big moves from state to state as a kid. This prepares you for alot of life's challenges, creates a whole set of skills, you hope you never need, but often do. But it also numbs out a part of your heart, that just takes longer everytime to heal. It's kinda like scar tissue.
I used to be a 'cryer'. You know the girl you don't want to look at when something emotional happens at church. Yeah, that used to be me. Perhaps after 2 kids & a few years of marriage, it's just not quite as 'at the surface'. I have only found myself 'on the floor', a couple of times since we've moved. I think because this time, I really knew it was permanent. I tried to really say goodbyes well, be sure people know how much I love them. I cried alot with friends, because of friends, on my way to the grocery, in the grocery before we moved. When we came back from finding a house, I saw millions of LSU reminders & everytime, I would get choked. I've never been 'a fan', of anyteam. But bonding over simple things, remembering fun times, watching National championships for the 'hometeam' you can hear play from your front yard at a bowl game on national tv...
Now I'm listening to crickets, birds, boys romping, less tv(only dvd's), lots of music... Finding bird's nest all over my yard. It's a change. Change can be good. Change shakes things up. But sometimes, its just exausting. You find yourself sitting staring at the same stack of boxes, tripping over them, cursing the clutter of our lives, pictures, china you never get to use anyway, excess coffee makers.
All My Stuff is finally under one roof for the first time in 4 years. When we moved the last time to BR, we thought we'd only be there for 3 months. 4 years later, almost to the day, we moved with a whole 'nuther plan. I knew it would be a very long time before I could brace myself for a long trip back to see precious friends(perhaps not that long, Martha), but I'd have alot of things to sort out when I got here.
We just unloaded the final things, (did the final cry) in the old house. The house where we brought Jack home. Where I sat in corners praying for a child to adopt. Where I sat wondering if that tree was going to fall on our house, and did it. 2 times, and then the retro-termite damage repair. And then I saw the hydrangea's I'd planted to obscure the ugly gas meter. All I could do was cut some of it's blooms & hope they made it home without browning too badly. ...
Well there, I've had a good cry. But I'm thankful for feeling that way. Missing things. Having things, memories, friends to remember & for which to be thankful.
I can see God's timing, His blessing in so many things. We needed to keep our house for alot of reasons, not sell it, even tho it was a mortgage to carry( not the least of which was our adoption status in our home state.) When the market tanked, we still weren't sure it if it wasn't going to be our home. When we knew it wasn't, we slapped that sucker on the market & 12 days later had a contract. Blessing. Prayers answered. It made the transition, even tho still loaded with emotion and challenge, that much easier. One of the 2 things married folks argue about just loosened it's choke hold on our sense of peace. We could just focus on our house where we actually live. I don't take this for granted. So many folks are choking on life's unexpected financial challenges right now.
Thankful today for :
151 cardinal birds nest with 3 eggs
152 phoebe bird's nest above light
153 Jack being home - he always knew he was from Georgia
154 SEC conversation with friends about LSU, UofF, Georgia & Alabama.
155 Nana watching kids
156 Heidi watching kids
157 Uncle Mike, no doubt, watching kids
158 my morning coffee
159 internet that helps us look for our 'forever' home
160 a potential closing on our house, before the next payment is due
161 Eric's job that he loves
162 Martha's house that 'closed'
163 Jeannie's new house she found the day we moved
164 Kristi's house in TN that Eden loves
165 new aquaintences with common goals & interests
166 Jack's 'enhancement' course for fall
167 Jack's Tae Kwon Do class with other homeschoolers
168 A great lesson yesterday about Joshua's challenge for the Israelites to serve Yaweh, alone
169 hydrangeas
170 blow-up swimming pools that fit in your car
171 memories of Jeannie's boy's dragging our old pool down the street to it's new home
172 chow-chow relish from Burger's market
173 seeing snakes in the road while driving & not by my foot when walking
174 the Sandy Creek Nature Center
175my new washer & dryer (we went old school, more on that later)
Go over to visit Ann Voskamp and many others who are remembering to count one thousand gifts. I love seeing friends there. I believe it really does make the world a better place.
For me it's medication for my soul. Lifemeds #25
8 comments:
How neat to have 2 bird nests to watch!
Moving can be so exhausting, both physically and mentally. I do love the thrill of new beginnings, but it can be so hard saying good-bye. My guess is that our moving days are done for a while, but reading your post brought back a lot of memories. : )
Laura,
You have gone through so much and you continue to do it with grace. Your light shines bright and you do well to give God the glory for all that you have been through...the good and the ugly alike!
I am constantly encouraged by your post and am a bit jealous of your new home with bird nest and eggs, crickets that chip at night and little boys that run through the woods.
Maybe someday, we will move out of the city.
I join you in sharing gratitude for all the bountiful gifts given by our Abba Father.
~a
I loved reading this post and I wanted to cry a bit for you, too! I can really relate to it. We left our home state almost 20 years ago because God called us to ministry in another state. It was a very clear call and one that has never been rescinded by the Lord. But that has not caused my heart to grieve over missing "home" many times over the years. And I mean GRIEVE! Sometimes I think my heart will break if I don't go back.
Studying Daniel recently, I realized, he too, was taken from his homeland to another place to minister on behalf of the Lord. And he never went back. Even when the King allowed the Israelites to return, Daniel had to stay. I believe this is what God is calling us to do.To stay and minister - for life.
This morning I was reading in Numbers. How often the Israelites wanted to return to Egypt, to what they knew... the familiar. Despite slavery, it was home, where memories were made. But God wanted them to look FORWARD to what He was preparing for them. And all along the way they kept looking back, the forward, back, then forward. Finally, after complaining about the 10th time (when the spies had returned and they wanted to go back to Egypt yet again), God told them they would not go into the promised land. They would die along the way as they wondered in the wilderness. How many times have I been just like that! God has been so patient with me!
I loved how you are thankful for the memories that God has given you in LA, but looking forward to what He has ahead. Keep your eyes on Him, embrace what He has for you in your new "earthy" home and it will all be GOOD! Pray for me... I'll pray for you!
So, you may remember that the organization I work for is in a huge re-organization. I had to reapply for my job and by God's grace was given my job back. At present, I am in charge of overseeing a federally funded program for 43 campuses. Friday was our last meeting with the organization as it is now. At our meeting they honored me with a lovely card and a gift card to a department store.
I don't know how things will look next year but I have a job.
Glad you stopped by, Laura.
I feel you, sister. :) Lovely list, too...love the bird nests!
Laura,
It's so nice to make your acquaintance! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I can relate to so much you've shared in your post here. And your list is great...coffee, having a job that one loves.
Blessings to you this day!
Kit
Ahh..you made me cry today. And LONG for Houston. Moves are hard and I just hope our kids will survive. This one has been a tough one for our family. Thankful that a certain family moved to Brentwood CoC many moons ago and gave us a wonderful family friendship.
Being an Army Brat we moved a lot as a kid. My mom came at it from the same place you are, I think. Being thankful that you had such a blessed experience you want to shed tears for the things you'll missed. It's lovely!!
In every move I'm in awe, looking back, of the people the Lord blessed us with!! Everywhere Christians were our family, our support....what a blessing it was/is!!
Hope to see you soon my lovely lovely friend!!
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