Do what I say, not what I do...

A while back I heard John Rosemond speak. It was a special opportunity for me, you see I'm a groupie/junkie. When I asked him to sign my purchased book, I couldn't quite come up with anything to say. Eric was beside me and explained, 'She's read all your books, she thinks your ideas are the bomb,....', in a very matter of fact way. Ironically, he spoke to Mr. Rosemond in the hall during the break, while I must have been to the ladies or something. When I got back he told me he'd been talking to him. I really thought he was kidding, he said no, he really had. I was sure he'd finally had the opportunity I'd been looking for since our kids were born, to receive from the master, wisdom that would solve all of our parenting woes. He said they'd talked about weather, or something equally boring. ??? Really??? Your kidding... anyway, I digress. (men...)
For those of you, like me facing a challenging day of motivating your kids to do what is good and productive, this was a thought that he shared in the presentation part of the day.

You cannot move in two different directions and expect to end in one destination.
Sound familiar... You cannot serve 2 masters.. turn neither to the right nor to the left..
In parenting, this came to mind: You cannot expect children to have values and exemplify values that you do not exemplify.

Some values regarding behavior I am personally working with for myself and children, come from the following passages: Michah 6:6-8, love mercy, James 3:17, gentle, peacable, willing to yield. How can I instill the value of being peacable, merciful, humble or gentle, if I am not so myself?
Likewise, my comments, to care about what I say. We are all certain there are words that are simply profane, that are obviously not true, noble, virtuous, right, pure, full of any encouragment, (Philipians 4:8) but what about those benign comments 'whatever', 'do whatever you want, I just don't care.' Are these really benign, or parental laziness? Truly there are things that are 'little things', not worthy of sweat (you know, don't sweat the little things), but is this an attitude that needs to be dealt with from the inside of the parent? I think so. Those are the moments, probably when our words are the most powerful to our children. When we think we can't go one more step, out of sheer exaustion. Our minds are dying to shut down for the night, but theirs are still going strong. And out of exasperation, we cave in. I cave in. Is my well of strength so shallow? Or have I not armed myself well enough, whether its through rest, or keeping that well full of God's strength and resources?
Our Song of Solomon Class has been quite thought provoking in so many ways. Doug has done a marvelous job of presenting excellent thought provoking topics creating much dialogue in the class. Topics have touched on parenting & marriage both, as well as increasing our knowledge of our spiritual heritage of imperfect people. One such topic that came up yesterday, touched on delayed gratification. Does delayed gratification begin with the topic of sex, or is this a learned discipline for many things in life? I believe delayed gratification is something that each person must deal with in all things. Teaching it to our kids means tough love sometimes. Not giving in to every desire, be it a new toy, 'snack on demand', drive through before getting home, replacement of every broken toy as soon as it's broken... my list could go on for days.
I'd really like any feed back regarding this topic. Whether it is regarding modeling good behavior, or delayed gratification. Our ladies Wednesday night class continues to work through lessons on parenting, and I know there's lots of wisdom out there.