Education, Easter and Early Mornings - April 9, 2023

 'No doubt I should have begun hunting a job at once, but I was hungry for books, anxious to be learning, so I rented a room in a small hotel close to the library and divided my time between it and the shelves of  second - hand bookstores close by.' 

Louis L'Amour, Education of a Wandering Man: A Memoir 

'Win the morning, Win the day,' so says Gary Keller, leader in chief of the largest Real Estate Company in the present world, time stamp April 9, 2023. Currently employed there, we spend quite a bit of our days, searching for the key to success-- not just financial, but in all aspects of life. It is not mistake that I enjoy the work I do that is daily shaped by the question, 'what are you reading?' At Christmas, our Market Center owner's, Brian & Marci Fair, graciously bestowed a stack of 10 of the most amazing books upon each of the members of the Leadership Teams from each of their owned KW Market Centers. My current read: 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently was one of those 10 books. A book of lists is not my usual jam, but Marci (who selects the books) knows her stuff-- this book is excellent. Snippets of thought, plugged in like a daily flip calendar. I've been daily reading just a couple of pages at a time. It's excellent. 

I've also been using the Bible App   on my phone to encourage the habit of daily reading. I didn't complete the read-in-a-year program, so I've just gone back and filled in what I missed, days I missed. But sticking with it, just reading. 

The aspect of a daily 'check list' is not lost on me. For years, throughout school, I had a flip steno pad, used as a daily assignment list. It worked. Working full-time now, with technology leading the way, I'm continually challenged, going back and forth between lists I write down and lists I put in my 'Keep' in google. But progress. Working towards efficiency, faster without losing the quality. 

I am reminded that 'We memorize to contemplate, 

Learning moves at a different pace. The concept of learning by heart, memory, internalizing a concept or a precept. But does it? Those who operate and work at high production or at a high level in leadership will tell you, it's the daily habit that defines the trajectory of one's life. Always being in a hurry does not a successful outcome make. The correlations are visible to who knows what concept can be found on what page of the MREA, and on what page the solution can be found in SHIFT. And how we all lean into Atomic Habits. 

Ultimately, we realize, every subject has a liturgy. And if we do not carefully choose the tools we use to measure our learning or consider carefully our ultimate purpose in the learning of a given subject, our efforts may not meet the objective we were ultimately hoping to achieve. Perhaps our objectives are deeper understanding of life, in order to live more in accordance with what God would have us be. Perhaps our objective is to leave a poor choice of habit behind, and our focus must be to eliminate- and we focus on what will fill that void. 

No matter what it is is-- it must have a point where the passion of the soul is stirred, where one must touch the inner most of the mind, and experiences the letting go of the schedule, the list, the box checking. Where one let's go of everything else in order to grab hold of that One Thing. One of the Andrew's describes the common error best:

 'In our rush for output, we skip the non-quantifiable, but essential step of contemplation.'

 And another of the Andrew's(Kern) conversing with Wes Callahan, 

'We memorize to contemplate, not to show off.' 

from 'A Perpetual Feast, 2018. 

In all of the How, the habits, the schedules, the letting go-- I will suggest that the WHAT and WHO matter as well. To be focused just on methodology is lacking if the object of our affection is poorly chosen. To know how we learn best, the depths of our mind's capability and the capacity of our heart- and not KNOW the ONE WHO designed and made us is of the Greatest importance. 

Just because something is old doesn't make it important-- but something that gives greater connectivity to Ancient and Transcendent-- this is the What and the WHO worth our time. 

~~~ 

Today, my mind is skipping about. And that's ok. It is Easter. It is Dad's birthday. It is Sunday. Transitions of life are everywhere. All the memes that speak to me are about aging and gray hair. I enjoy holding my cat and changing out the cute seasonal yard signs like old women do. But the enemy is at the gate, and it is far from time to resign responsibility and purposeful action. The HOW matters. The WHAT is self-evident. The WHO has always been and will always be. 

Keep reading, friends. 

Published 1/26/2024

Saved from the land of unpublished drafts. 

 

'They Already Do.' December 2022

 

In October, we celebrated 25 years of marriage. Celebrations have come for us in small things, in small ways, with a cumulative effect. Our current ebb and flow has us appreciating the deeper, quieter moments. 2021 was brutal but left us with more true thanksgiving than any turkey dinner might have. 

While the world rages on, our little family, our little world has chugged on, rounding the curves of everyday life with new opportunity to see what might be, what we can do. 

'What you focus on expands.' And I've been focusing on hope. I've been determined to set my mind of what could happen-- the what if's of promise and possibility. I took Dr. Edie's thoughts and ran. I got coached up and decided to press in where fear was taking hold and give no quarter to doubt. 

Just about the time my adrenaline and motivation started to wear out with overuse, I learned again that consistent habit was the key. Starting over, starting the day it was clear and not waiting on January 1st to come. In places my patience has worn thin, Eric picked up the slack, I believe because our home has been focused upon hope and driven with an optimistic perspective. We shared a vision. 

I've mentioned I love movies. 'The Family Man,' with Nicholas Cage and Tea' Leoni is one of our favorites-- together. We have laughed and cried over the 'been there' and the 'what if' moments all through that movie. But the best line ever-- 'They already do.' They already have everything, even in the chaos of everyday life. They have reality in spades, with love and mundane life. Imperfectly perfect. Extraordinarily, ordinary. 

'I Choose Us.' 

I'm with you Tea'. 

I Choose Us. 

Good, Good Father, We are All Rickey-Bobby ~January 2022

 I watch a lot of movies. I'd like to say, 'up until the last few years,' but that's not true at all. I've curbed somewhat, due to the ever-increasing slouch towards Gomorrah in the ever more-so reality reflecting nature of our Hollywood film industry. But truth be told, I still watch a lot of movies. 

 I privately recommend movies all the time. They are usually older (read 1990-2010) that a friend somehow missed. I tell them, 'It's good. All the usual disclaimers. There's a message worth wading through -insert inappropriate content-. '  

Recently someone mentioned the predicative style of television that has become popular.  Have you seen it? Like it's eerily so close to reality, you can't believe it? Yes, that's a thing. It's a type of conditioning I believe the writer, Ray Bradberry, author of Farenheit 451 could have explored so well. And yes, I've seen that movie too.

A dear friend to me, known most pleasantly through social media and our kindred love for The Close Reads Podcasters and all things Circe Institute, agreed with me on my ardor for the new 'All Creatures Great And Small,' shown through PBS channels, through local state support and also a Prime offering.  She mentioned, 'It's literally the best thing on television right now. Such a timely piece of beauty.' She's not wrong. In fact, it is a quiet glimpse of heaven. You know, those glimpses we see, of reconciliation, even in loss and reality. The newer version has found perfection in the actress who plays, 'Helen Alderson.' I literally wept at times watching her interactions within moments of the story's  various well known arcs and moments of denoument. I don't even mind some of the liberties taken that may differ from the book, or from the original made-for -television series. The cinematic details of contrasting color are perfection. The impact of the landscape of the English countryside-incomparable. Even if you can't understand a single thing they say due to the character's heavy accents- watch it. I whole-heartedly recommend it. 

I'm reminded about all of the natural aspects of life and could easily meander far off my original intended thoughts thinking about Tristan's chickens, how much I want sheep, and how much I want Irish leather boots. But my real life in my rural-suburban home shocks me back into the version of modern reality in which I live. 

I turn to another movie recommended to me by a trusted source. I know I'll be watching on my own, as Eric is not enjoying watching movies like he once did, for a myriad of reasons. So I catch it in parts, but it does not disappoint. 'Collateral Beauty,' in fact, breaks me out of a rut of thinking, providing layered main characters, all with a variety of increasingly familiar life events and challenges. I relate. I connect. Internally I ask myself the same questions these actors ask others and themselves and find myself not blindsided with unrelatable far-fetched and highly unlikely plot or resolution. The beauty of story has captured me, exercised my imagination and I have connected with humanity, God's most precious creation, once again. 

It is not a perfectly 'kosher' movie.  There are 'angel type' representations, yet there is limited implied or explicit mention of God, or even a higher power.  Honestly, I can't remember. I'll watch this one again, so I'll be able to see more detail the writers offered. My eye was on the people: their circumstances, their uniqueness, their similarities, their differences. The actors themselves have news-noted opinions and influence, and this is an added layer of bringing humanity closer together. To date, in the most recent 'Close Read's' Podcast about the current collective read, David Kern, also a film guru, indicates the layer of interest brought by having a well-known actor play a particular part such as Gal Gadot, playing the movie-star role in the upcoming remake of  'Death on the Nile,' by Agatha Christie. Times have changed, and within roles's like this, Kern indicates the nuances of modernity and current culture find their footing through her former roles, such as 'Wonder Woman.' Not to mention she has a well-known military career. 

The Christian will often embrace the ideology of 'in the world- not of the world.'  Across the Christian spectrum of conservativism and liberal thought and denomination of faith, you will find many caveats, places where people, like me, give allowances, disclaimers, reasons, for taking note or participating in elements of culture that may not look like what you or I believe a Christian would, or should, appreciate, or to which one might give note. One might say, no not me, but then we find ourselves allowing entertainment or elements of culture to influence or embed right into our lives, as if it was sent in an email straight from the Creator. 

We get to choose where we turn our gaze. And occasionally, there is nowhere else to look but within a broken culture, and find others living in a broken culture, with their unique and layered disclaimers. While I may hold onto my tokens and icons of my faith, another does also. But their tokens and phoenix-like stories do not resemble mine. Alignment leads to realignment, because ultimately we wish to be connected to people, to humanity, to others who participate in the goings on of God's most unique creation. We find our self quoting Rickey Bobby, about 'little baby Jesus.' 

Maybe, maybe the noise of the realignment will become so deafening, so numbing, so awkwardly painful, we will seek higher, more holy, Divine,  Truly Divine Intervention. 

Maybe. 

Let it be so,, Good, Good Father. 

Walter White, Livy, and Ultimate Authority

 Walter White died last night. Again. Unlike the days of 'Who Shot J.R.?,' a story on television, such as, 'Breaking Bad,' can be viewed and relived independently by an infinite number of viewers, an infinite number of times. The conclusion of the tragic story will be the same, but the experience is fresh and new for the viewer, in all the broken ways. I began it a few years ago, and stopped. I put it on the 'do not enter' shelf of my movie/television viewing library. But recently, it surfaced. And once you get sucked in, you have to know what happens to Walter White. What I really wanted to know was what was going to happen to Jessie Pinkmon. I won't spoil it for you, completely.   Although I do not recommend it for the soul whose mind is not prepared to witness the broken underworld of drug cartels and those who partake of its goods. While addiction may be a relatable part for some watchers, the beginning of the story is what draws the average person in, making them wonder what can make someone fall down such a dark and twisted rabbit hole. 

Livy of ancient days, (59 B.C. - A.D. 17) is often quoted as he writes about the fall of Rome, 

'We can endure neither our evils nor their cures.' 

Directing his comments to the more ancient Romans, he asks the reader of his most thorough history of his beloved Rome, The Early History of Rome, to 'trace the process of our moral decline, to watch first, the sinking of the foundations of morality as the old teaching was allowed to lapse, then the rapidly increasing disintegration, then the final collapse of the whole edifice, and the dark dawning of our modern day when we can neither endure our vices nor face the remedies needed to cure them. The study of history is the best medicine for a sick mind; for in history you have a record of the infinite variety of human experience plainly set out for all to see; and in that record you can find for yourself and your country both examples and warnings; fine things to take as models, base things; rotten through and through to avoid.' 

I think back to the beginning of Walter's story, and he is so relatable. He's a gentle, reticent man, outwardly simple, chemistry teacher, who has been diagnosed with a dreadful disease. His wife is pregnant. He has a son with disabilities, and their financial situation is less than promising. Everyone around them seems to be successful in their own way. 

It is clear this show will not be a beacon of (G)ospel truth. But I believe this is the brokeness about which Livy laments: the lack of Lasting Foundations and Eternal Things, exemplified in the lack of guidance by father's and father figures towards noble and godly virtues. 

There is a deceptive level of 'fineness' in Walter's concern for his family's well-being. But at what and whose expense? Those who will be impacted by his new industry, for he becomes a meth 'cook', impacting the safety of his family-- and what of those who use his product perpetuating the endless cycle of addiction?

At each turn in the story, when he returns to his 'normal' life, Walter seems to be a loving father and husband, giving us a false sense of hope. But as his involvement in his drug career and subsequent success heightens, his lack of moral foundation becomes exposed. His words of care about his family well-being become less in alignment with a true sense of care, and more about feeding his new found sense of power. 

At one point he expresses the loss of knowing his own father, and how this impacted himself. He is constantly trying to present a positive role model for his son, wanting to be present and a part of his life. And yet he leads this double life, eventually creating irreparable damage. He has made decisions creating almost no way out of this path. 

Jessie Pinkmon, a willing but highly coearst drives home the point of the generational lack of eternal moorings. For while he has a father and mother who expect him to do without drugs and live a conventional life, they have no reason to offer in their cameo appearances. Even then it is only his mother who comes to deal with him as they severe ties. 

There is one father who tries diligently to keep their child from drugs. While he seems to be the most pro-active, his potential for success is ultimately lacking. I would propose this is where the subtle absence of spiritual moorings becomes most obvious and most painful. He has tried to do what he knows to be right, but he comes up at a loss. For the loss of physical life is clear-- it is tragic and senseless. But the apparent lack of spiritual relationship with a Divine Creator has long been left in the proverbial dust, just as forgotten as the scattered particles of the substance used that ruined the life lost. 

We can say -What does it matter? It's just a show. And I respect if you are asking 'Why should we watch at all?' Humor me a bit longer as I process out this culturally relevant story. We can all see how desperate Walter White was, and how much he needed and wanted o care for his family when he would no longer be able to provide for them. He would become powerless, disabled, impotent. 

White begins with one objective but meets on his way another desirable and truly relatable outcome. He begins by nobly wanting to provide for his family. But he finds that he likes who he becomes, a powerful and respected cog in the feared underworld. This new world he lives in plays outside the rules he is continually constrained by, and he keenly experiences the power that comes with his new found position. His learned skills of chemistry set him apart from all of the others. He becomes highly valued, untouchable. I say relatable. Yes. To work in our combined learned and natural gifts is a blessing. But this is where it becomes acutely clear that White is untethered from essential virtues and ultimately from his Creator. 

While Livy does not directly point to the God of the Hebrews nor to the Father of the Christ that would shake his present history of his own world, Livy does remind us that in the record of civilization, one 'can find both examples and warnings; fine things to take as models and base things; rotten through and through, to avoid.' Avoiding mind altering addictive substances and the activity of producing such is a given to 'avoid.' But what example of 'fine things to take as a model' are absent, an absence so keenly felt in this not so impossible to believe story? 

Ultimate and fundamental authority is a theme worthy of its own exploration. The brokenness becomes clear because we eventually find ourselves thinking outside the realm of law abiding ideology. The relativity of 'right and wrong' are on clear display, and the discussion of fundamental divine authority are never broached- but are they? There is something in Jessie Pinkmon's role in this tragic story that keeps bringing us back to the sanctity of life. His circumstances and experiences keep involving innocence lost and we see him embrace his long disabused sense of morality only to have it challenged and crushed again, and again. When an encouraging word could have propelled him to a new life, that ultimate Authority is no where in the memories of anyone's experience and the climax and denoument are 'rotten through and through.' 

Most in this story do not 'endure their vices,' nor do they know the Cure. I say White is relatable because he is. The statistics of this award winning television's show are astounding. Perhaps some watched because it is so far fetched, so well written and entertaining escapism. But it is also relatable. Up until 20 years ago, one didn't have the standard $500 upcharge of the cost of living for all of the electronics and entertainment packages that are now an assumed part of life. The White family are typical, average, even having a memory of what might have been a financially life altering success story. They are mainstream. The absence of the Cure, the knowledge of one's Creator is no less important- it's just not within reach. The stretch is too far to find a redeeming outcome.

Here is my question and my take away: Years ago, I wondered why the Brady Bunch never went to church, and I went 3 times a week. It should be no surprise that a story like Walter White's is even broadcasted- this is just the natural progression of 'the disentegration, the final collapse of the edifice' of our collective moral soul. But 'The Cure,' the Balm of Gilead is no less effective in saving men's souls than it was when Livy wrote his history of one of the most eventually corrupted empires of the known world. 

Mankind will ebb and flow to and from its Original Source and Designer. 

Ultimately it is up to me to seek the Ultimate Authority about any story or experience I may hear or have.  The chroniclers of our day are not reliable to remember Our creator. But the brokeness is real and He is needed in every real or conjured experience. 

My point is not to persuade you to watch a broken story, but to urgently on the daily, hourly and each moment, look to the One who is able to heal the brokeness of all our stories. He is able. He is worthy of our attention. 

God be honored in all things. He is worthy. 

 **Be advised: Published in the haste of life. Grammar and composition are on the level of a coffee shop conversation or late night kitchen snack run. 

Anniversaries, Faithfulness and Heaven ~ December 2021

Mom and Dad riding camels in Egypt 2009

When people commit for life, they really don't know what will come down that road.  But I was blessed with parents who were determined to remain together. 

 As a little girl, my mot her thought one day she might become an archaeologist. Really. That and Nancy Drew.  Through the years, that dream came true. Both of my parents traveled to a true dig, where they tested their mettle and came back with a new story to tell and an experience of a lifetime. Being a student of ancient history and the related field of archaeology, it was a natural fit for him, but Mom had been developing her own interest in the field of Historic Preservation. She was also a natural fit for the adventure, with her appreciation of history, no matter  how distant, and its role in informing our present experience. 

They were and are a match made in heaven. Because as far apart as their origins might have been-- Alabama and California-- God really did bless the broken road that led them straight to each other.  And matches made in heaven are not those that keep us who we were forever.  They are the one's that  stretch us, and make us more of who we were meant to be. 

We miss you Dad, every day. But our adventures continue and our opportunities for challenge and experience keep us busy. Thank you for loving Mom so well,  while you were here among us. I thank you, Mom, for your love for, faithfulness and dedication to Dad. We mark today, 61 years, of a December celebration of two young persons who said 'I do,' forever. Love you both. Forever.

 

Calendars, Confidence and Christ ~ November 2021

 I had to look back, but it's been 3 years since I began seriously caring for myself and my health. It 's been 3 years since I began the journey out of the black hole I had fallen into.  It's been 5 years since grief over losing Dad stirred embers that were seething, and my struggle against a better way was in full swing. What I remember of the 2 years in between, mostly, I want to forget.

Inside cover of my first ‘It Starts With Food,’ and my old-school purse calendar. 

Fast forward: It has been 200 days since I drank any alcohol or  hfc sodas/cokes. 211 to be exact, but that's what a habit built upon a #doitscared decision for long term success looks like at 211 days. You blow right past it, because the memory of success is serving you so well. 

November 2018 was the first time I  #quit and #started. I had decided I would do a 'whole 30' and that involves no alcohol, no sweets, and NO cheating. When you cheat, you start over. For real. I did it though. I marked it down. And when I don't think I can go one step further, I have that memory of success to look back on.  For real. That's how confidence works. 

Confidence is the memory of success. 

2019 I joined Athens Fit Body Boot Camp. Yup. Again. I marked it down. I knew I could do anything for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. For Real. Instead of being self-conscious, I became self-confident.  I began to trust myself to make good choices. 

Don't think for a second there were and are not still challenges. Not just this year, with hubs getting ill,  but all along the way, there have been obstacles.  That first day back in 2018, the day after Thanksgiving, that day I decided to bite the bullet and buy my YL starter kit- that day I committed to fixing my train-wreck body. The least suspecting obstacle almost beat me. It was the water bottle I'd put in the refrigerator,  prepping for my exercise and good habits. It was a Tervis Tumbler with the oddest sharp edge on the cap. Starting out with  such good intentions- It fell from the fridge and clipped my toe just right. Day one I was bleeding all over the kitchen and sobbing. What were my thoughts? 'Woe is me, look how hard I'm trying and look what happens to me! See what happens when you try to do good!?! And look at those boys-- those good for nuthin boys barely even blinked. Including my hubs!! I'm trying so hard... whah... 

Mel Robbins would say--

 'Nobody's coming for you.' 

 'Nobody's coming for you.' And she's right. This isn't a declaration about the absence of God, not hardly. It is a clear declaration that  *No one* can do what you must do for yourself.  No one can stop self pity, self absorption, selfishness.  Oh, good company can support good habits, but friend, you've got to own your own mess. It doesn't matter how nice your family is, your friends are, the community you live in, the cyber chats you contribute to--Nope. That's all on you- It's all on me. 

But is it? That is where I must interject what is often left behind. Right after the 5,4,3,2 1 , podcast, Marco Polo, Facetime, Habit tracker check-off- I have likely forgotten The One to Whom all these great guides and good company point. Christ. The Firstborn of all creation, Ruler over all principalities, Redeemer of all lost causes- including me. If I am a part of the church, the Bride of Christ, then my first thought should be to Him and what He would have me think about things, including trusting in Him to redeem what I cannot. Will He give me more than I can handle? Yes, and He anticipates and is ready to hear my prayer, my request to gain His perspective and His direction for my life. Does He always lift the burden? No. Does He love us? Yes, He's proven that over and over, in His patience and kindness. He's not marking an earthly timetable or spreadsheet. That's for us mere mortals. He needs no such thing, for

 His grace and mercy are immeasurable,

 His love is endless, and his plan for our souls is eternal. 

Will I continue to stack good habits? Yes, indeed. Will I fail- you know it's true. But that is where my Redeemer has my back. And over all the things that I could do, where He spreads his arm and covers us in safety, If we choose that shelter.  That is where I put my hope. 

My hope is not in this world, 

but in the One who made it.

 The good news - I tend to forget- is in the 'letting go.' I can only work within God's plans. I can't force them. I can't control them. I fool myself and mess about when I believe I'm in control of anything but my attitude. My actions can follow if opportunity is there- but my heart is what He's after. I may ask and ask for favor, but If I've asked God to do it, to open that door or make that  path, I best take my hand off the door knob and trust He will make the way clear. 

There's alot of 'doing' in the Bible, stories of folks taking action. Maybe it's dipping in a pool of water for healing, maybe it's taking up stones against a giant, perhaps the ultimate challenge of #doitscared.  Our stories right along with those of ancient times can and do point to confidence enough to take action. We share in that story,  in the ultimate Story of success. For now, I'm going to keep on marking the days, checking the boxes, to keep me going in a direction that best honors God. But most importantly-  I will go confidently in the knowledge that I serve in those actions, the God Who Sees and Knows all things. He is in the twilight of emotions between the successes of my day and the perceived failure of my plans. I hold up my calendar with missed days and plans gone off the rails. He gathers me up and comforts me, serves me what I need-be it admonition or another obstacle-, even in the presence of my enemies. He is a loving Father, who gave his only Son, Christ Redeemer for all. Creator. Sustainer. Redeemer. 

Perseverance, Quicksand, and God ~ October 2021

 Consistent effort is cumulative. Even the turtle eventually gets to his destination. Even small consistent movement will bring one to a different place,  destination, or achievement . Even if we follow a seemingly thoughtless plan, one will ultimately arrive somewhere. Even in isolation, a person on their own has this opportunity, to choose, use the mind to determine the direction of one's thoughts- and the mind is powerful. 

Day 16 of 'Squatober'

Knowing we can harness that cumulative effort,  let's put direction into it.  Malcolm Gladwell, in his book, Outliers, refers to the idea of the' 10,000 hour rule.' Achieving an objective, learning a subject 'by heart', mastering a skill takes, no requires, no less than 10,000 hours of  applied time to achieve mastery, synthesis, automaticity.  This level requires dedication to even the mundane, boring task-- picture the Karate Kid, picking up the jacket over and over, or for an older generation, 'wax on- wax off.' (I found 'Outliers'  very auido friendly.) 

So we decide we'll accomplish something, we set a goal, short term and long term, process goals, but most importantly, we take the leap. We decide and narrow the focus on an area of expertise, skill, achievement. We get all the systems in place, learn new tricks, reset our  'mind set,' then WHAM! 

 'Quicksand' shows up- the kind of obstacle that feels insurmountable. We all have it. We all have our challenges that seem to come at the wrong time. We may have even spent time in therapy or life-coaching to work through this type of obstacle and  surely, this can't be 'the way' -- again! Didn't we already solve this problem?  Master this problem? Some habits, some heavily traveled  pathways are harder to let go of. We spent alot of time there, alot of time (10000 hour, maybe even aimlessly) developing a reaction to an obstacle, and once again,  affirming all the negative voices we may have heard telling us we can't do it- whatever it was or is we want to master/do/learn. 

How we   'show up,' makes all the difference.  If I show up with a mindset that is already apathetic, given to the 'whatever,' frame of mind, it's inevitable that the quicksand will suck me in, and I will drown in it. Suffocate is more accurate. Like the slough of despond,  which I picture to be more tar-like, holds our feet and thus traps us, starving us of what could be, what lies ahead- the endless possibilities. 

Is this it? A constant repetition of obstacles, facing obstacles,  checking boxes, accepting and creating stylized challenges, learning new things? I choose never to embellish Scripture to suit my lifestyle or perceptions. And at this point in history, we are past the impacts of Modernity, the modern Godless perception of life. We've moved directly into   Post-Modernism. But God is ever present. Jehovah God, The Great I AM. I stand, stretch, lunge, even squat,  -- knowing that while many popular challenges may be laced with our modern trappings, I believe God sees us renewing our place as the created being, with endless  possibilities. HE IS the God of endless  possibilities. Where we may see darkness and loss, HE is a way-maker, He's just   'rollin-up His sleeves again.' Toby Mac gets it right. Help is on the way. 'The Lord ain't failed me yet.' And HE is willing and longsuffering when we fail. 

I am convinced,  convicted,  that in the Greatest Commandment  , we are given a commission to use our minds and bodies, along with our our heart and soul, to His glory. His  Self-Evident Majesty determines His worthiness and His gracious longsuffering and love are our refuge when we fail. 

Grace, Platitudes and Mrs. Dubose ~ August 2021

  

When a Christian faces an obstacle, there is an immediate default to rely on  Scripture, especially passages that feed the virtues of a man's soul. In like manner, we lean in and rely on the experience of those who have passed through similar valley's, whether they are in our real life circle or from the past such as a well known figure from the Bible. It's even more interesting when the passage comes from a seemingly inconsequential person's circumstance or story, the person on the margins and periphery of life.

If Flannery O'Connor is culturally a 'great Aunt',  in my mind, Harper Lee is like a 'second cousin.' Like millions of individuals who have read her great work, To Kill A Mockingbird, I am deeply moved by the story, the plot, the characters, and not least of all, the implications for my life.  Books and the stories told within are not always necessarily intended to teach us something. A writer may have done that from the outset, say for instance Harriet Beecher Stowe who indicates upfront, within her Preface, she wishes to impact the reader's mind regarding the the plight of the slave in her great work, Uncle Tom's Cabin. She states she wishes to 'awaken sympathy and feeling,' within the reader for the enslaved African in America. Thusly, she wishes to educate the reader. 

But differently,  Harper Lee, known by her closest friends and family as 'Nelle', does not express such in a preface or any interview about her book to my knowledge. She, in essence, delivered a beloved child and much like Hannah,  presented it to the temple of all readers and offered it for the life it would have, separate from its early origins, to become what it would without input from her at all.  She did not revisit the book in multiple interviews with reporters and in fact lived a quiet, secluded life between Monroeville, Alabama, and her New York apartment. The 'lesson' if one must be made, is the realness of TKAMB (To Kill A Mockingbird) and is the reader's to appreciate if they only will look closely at the characters. For I can assure you, while some are a composite based upon friends and family, some most certainly represent ideals, I believe, Lee was herself wrestling with along with the rest of the United States of America when she published the book. 

With this in mind, I give you Mrs. Henry Lafayette Dubose. She is a hold-over from the seemingly distant Civil War,  even when this book was published, 1960, and the time when it is set, not long after Franklin D  Roosevelt's inaugural speech in 1933. There are still Confederate Veterans and Widows living among those who populate this small fictitious and true to life southern home town. Think about that for a moment. Mrs. Dubose appears  is  a widow, her health in great decline and her only companion is a young black girl who cares for her day and night. Her house serves as the boundary for Scout and Jem, two doors to the north of their own home, and the other is the Radley residence, three doors to the south. With one boundary of 'unknown entities' and mystery and the other of bitterness and  defeat, Scout, the reader's narrator, describes Mrs. Dubose as 'plain hell.' Yet, they see their own good father treat Mrs. Dubose with the utmost kindness and she in turn speaks with reciprocal courtesy to him. She is humanized, personalized, appreciated.  I have  not sorted out for myself how much Atticus Finch, their widowed attorney father, knew about how she spoke to them, her incessant antagonizing . But, it is a point of interest to note what Mrs. Dubose seems to pinpoint as their transgressions.  It is the loss of what their mother could have influenced,  Scout's manner of dress, her casual manner of speech, and the implied inability of their father to care for them in her absence. Her attacks were based in loss and what might have been. She herself lives in a state of  loss and bitter loneliness. It is rumored she carries under her lap blanket a Confederate pistol, perhaps more of a talisman than a weapon, a reminder of the sense of security and justice she once knew.

It is said if we knew the depth of our enemy's sorrows, we would no longer be enemies.   While in the south many would disengenuinely say about Mrs. Dubose, 'bless her heart,' genuine grace and kindness are what Atticus offers. He knows more. He is an adult, and as we find out, a keeper of  private details about Mrs. Dubose and her affairs.  As a lawyer, he has helped her in her most intimate matters about her estate. He knew she was soon to pass from this life and she wished to go unencumbered by the  addiction to pain killing morphine. Jem's reading and the company they were required to give to Mrs. Dubose was much more than an act of penance for his tearing up her garden in response to her most  critical comments. 

 I  only noticed Mrs. Dubose in recent year's reading of TKAMB. She was such an inconsequential person compared to the blazing story created by Mayella and Tom Robinson. But yet, she tells a most tender element about what Atticus taught his children, about how to  treat people, even those who might speak ill of you or even those you love. Jem in his immaturity can't see why Atticus is so generous  in his kindness. But we like Jem can see that Atticus gave any way, and instructed those in his tutelage to do so as well. 

I am reminded of a familiar passage  attributed to Mother Teresa called, 'Anyway.'  Atticus guides us to not live in ignorance but be kind and true, anyway. A modern phrase the christian will often repeat, 'Even if.' Even if the the obstacle, the storm, the trial, the sickness, the loss, - we are called to press forward in refinement, just as the Silversmith refines us to better see His own image in us. 

To Ada Monroe and her father, Inman, from the story  'Cold Mountain,' says, 'I believe God is weary of being called down on both sides of this war.' Perhaps He is tired of our fighting, but I believe He is more weary of us looking everywhere but to Him. I believe Mrs. Dubose wanted to hear her name called clearly when the Lord called her home. She wanted to be seen and known, and endured the pain of withdrawal to experience God's presence more fully. She might not have put it that way, but I remember a contemporary in culture of her once doing something just so similar. My Nana returned to her name of birth,   Vaden, before she passed. She had simply called her self Elizabeth as she didn't like her legal given name. She wanted no dishonesty, wanting only the Lord to recognize her by her true and given name. 

Finishing well. Letting go of the petty and small and seeing our neighbor in all their faults and flaws and loving them, just as they see our weaknesses and desperate need- not of a cheap platitude- but of costly grace. 

Flannery O'Connor, Elisabeth Elliot ~ Thoughts on Mercy ~ August 2021

 It's not summer without revisiting a bit of Flannery O'Connor. Last night, we did a bit of listening to, 'Revelation,' from the collection bearing the title,  Everything that Rises Must  Converge.  I  was spurred on to this by sharing with Eric some thoughts from Jonathon Rogers book, The Terrible Speed of Mercy. A Spiritual Biography of Flannery O'Connor.  JR (Jonathon Rogers) is a wonderful writer, thought provoking teacher of grammar of language and writing, as well as story teller and published author of fiction, and podcaster at  The Habit  part of the The Rabbit Room Network.  

The passage to follow comes from Chapter 8, 'A Good Man is Hard to Find: 1954-1955.' from JR's book The Terrible Speed of Mercy.  Her reaction to reviews on her stories is the subject and consequently a consideration of why and how she could write about such disturbing subject matters. 

'The Kenyon Review, which had first published several of the stories included in 'A Good Man is Hard to Find,'  ran a review that described the book as "profane, blasphemous, and  outrageous," though the reviewer didn't seem to think that was necessarily a bad thing. "Miss O'Connor is consistent in her condemnation," the reviewer wrote."...

 "The notice in the Kenyan Review wasn't, in fact, a negative review. But, in O'Connor's mind, it was one of many that utterly missed the point of what she was trying to do in her stories.  'I am mighty tired of reading reviews that call A Good Man brutal and sarcastic,' she wrote. 

             "'The stories are hard but they are hard because there is nothing harder or less sentimental than Christian realism. I believe that there are many rough beasts now slouching toward Bethlehem to be born and that I have reported the progress of a few of them, and when I see these stories described as horror stories I am always amused because the reviewer always has hold of the wrong horror.

I recommend the audio book. The narrators are excellent. 

" For O'Connor, the real horror was never violence or deformity, but damnation. Horror that awakens a soul to its own danger and prepares it to receive grace is no horror, but a mercy. 'The devil,' she wrote, 'accomplishes a good deal of groundwork that seems to be necessary before grace is effective. '" 

For me, Flannery O'Connor is a bit like a Great Aunt one visits periodically. You leave with a greater understanding of your roots, especially if you were raised in the south. It's not easy reading or easy listening. But as JR reminds us, Flannery didn't used non-PC language to offend but awaken the reader to a truer story being told. She would however, correct this niece of southern heritage that the story was not written for propaganda. She wrote the real stories so they would bear out the truth, and not a contrived version of who the characters were or should be.  JR summarizes so well her thoughts on this,  "The duty of the fiction writer -- the Christian writer no less than any other writer --is to look clearly and fearlessly at what is-- not what ought to be-- and to use those concrete facts as the raw material for fiction. Ironically, it is only when the fiction writer obeys the laws of his or her art, rather than resorting to propaganda, that the sense of the Transcendent has a chance to exert itself." O'Connor called it, 'grounding it in concrete, observable reality.' 

Elisabeth Elliot had something to say on this matter. While some may not see the characters in O'Connor's books  worthy of mercy, that they got what was coming to them, I believe we miss yet another point. To observe sin, pain, horror, discord with creation, one who perpetuates grief or tragedy, on themselves or another, has learned this somewhere. They are likely the recipient of that which would drive this to action. As Karen Swallow Prior remarks in her fine book, On Reading Well,   ' we are all Mrs. Turpin,' at times in our lives. No one escapes with out sin.  And no one escapes the consequences of sin. Elisabeth Elliot addresses one of the consequences of sin- pain- very eloquently.  'I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God. ' While we would not wish pain, sin, brokenness   or horror upon anyone, it is up to us to see things the way they are,  what we have done with God's creation, and appreciate the depth of God's mercy and grace. 

 

Science and The Pieta ~ July 2021

'Science is real,' say the signs on the roadside  these days. And the longer I live, the more I believe it is so. Sitting with a table of Ladies' Homesteaders in Athens the other night, my friend Debbie and I expressed our fear of teaching Chemistry to a Master Gardner before her guest presentation. After she had begun,  I realized how ridiculous we must have sounded, as she schooled us in  biomes, nitrogen, ph levels, microbes and nematodes. My Google button was worn out after that evening of true enlightenment. I 'm much more comfortable in the verbal nuances of a literature book or art appreciation. There are reasons I never completed some of the more applicable career possibilities of my degree- Interior Design, Pattern and Dressmaking - numbers on a ruler stump me. Yet they, like the composition of the soil I so regularly dig up and often ineffectively utilize, are the most beautiful and profound witness to the Master Gardner who designed it all from the very beginning. 

It is written - and I believe - that Christ was full participant of the Creation. 

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.

For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.

And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 

Colossians 1:15-17

 A glimpse. We are given glimpses of the magnificence of the Creation. Our portion may be full of joy, exhilaration or it may be full of seemingly insurmountable trials, one right after the other. Most people experience seasons of both, layered with drought and deluge. But for some, the drought seems endless, filled with moments of disbelief.  How, and why, and please, Lord, no more. 

I was gifted this 'Pieta,' statuette. The original stands in St. Peter's Basillica, in Rome. Like others, I can't get past the profundity of loss in this glimpse of history. The original now stands behind bulletproof glass. So many historic and ancient artifacts and artistic endeavors represent the soul of man, the deepest longings and challenge the one who would destroy it. But unlike the temporal nature of the statue, the cosmic nature of the Moment this particular piece represents cannot be destroyed. But it is up to the individual to remember and embrace what is really going on. 

I've never 'born' a child from my body, but I am a mother. Of course I identify with Mary, who 'held these things in her heart.' Her holding all the hope and promise of the world in her arms, having no way to fully understand her small part in a larger plan, in THE Greater Plan. 

It is said, 'We plant trees, in whose shade we will never sit.'  Reflecting on Mary, and upon champions of faith through struggle,  I am  instructed how little I understand and must endeavor like they, to finish well. For even in this moment of loss, the Creator of the Universe  understood loss.  Shamed and despised. Misunderstood. Loved by a young mother, the simplest of participants in this cosmic moment of grief. 

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.

Isaiah 53:4

As this young mother grieved what she could not understand fully, I look at her along side those I watch struggle with loss and grief of losing a child. The daily magnitude of grief in cacophony with the design and  resilience of the uniquely female body and soul is testimony to the fall.   The demonstration of God's gift of his only begotten  Son is testimony to His understanding the need for the remedy.  I believe He gave us Mary to personify just this moment, whether in our own lives the child was lost at birth, later in life, or who still walks among the living. It is for us to see the grittiness of His birth, His humanity, His breaking away from His mother to fulfill His destiny. And for her part,  ladened with the physical and emotional weight that only a mother can feel. 

In this modern world of Science turned on its ear, I reverently and unashamedly embrace this moment in history. This divine moment where the intimate nature  and essence of woman is presented fully exposed. The fragile yet indomitable woman, in her most broken and vulnerable state, holding her Child, flesh of her flesh,  the Cosmic Christ, created yet Creator. For this image, I am thankful. I am thankful to the One who has carried our griefs and holds all the hopes of tomorrow and the unseen fruition of the broken mother's heart. 

Growth Mindset and The Secret Garden ~ June 2021

 Never would I have put these two books together, but I am a late-comer to both the appreciation of The Secret Garden  by Frances Hodgson Burnett and the concept of 'growth mindset.' I'm sure there are books bearing this exact title out there, but for me, Switch on Your Brain ,The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health,  by Dr. Caroline Leaf is a most approachable  book incorporating Biblical  references that support the concept of 'growth mindset,' and how our body and brain work together.

It occurred to me the approach we take to our circumstances makes all the difference - whether we see things negatively or choose to see the options and opportunity. Usually these are a part of change, something unfamiliar and from the chorus of voices in your head  you'll hear someone either  say, 'It'll never work,' OR 'DO IT SCARED.' 

You'll hear someone either  say,

 'It'll never work,' OR 'DO IT SCARED.' 

 I love how a book  that's been in your view for a few months will pipe up and talk to you, as if it's saying, 'Do you remember how cheerful Dickon was? Do you remember how ill Colin was? Do you remember how excited Mary was to run free with Dickon, while Colin was trapped inside with the curtains drawn closed?' 

Well, I ran across that passage- Mary is a determined child, not willing to live indoors when there is a wild secret garden to be explored. Dickon, who is now a voice in her head, lives free and emboldened by his happy upbringing. At one point Mary thinks this clearly, that she wishes to go to Dickon, while she doesn't wish to visit Colin. Colin's mindset is darkened by his physical plight that has been exacerbated by his father's grief. Dickon and Mary literally must convince him to take his health into his own hands, and with it follows a new mindset of joy. 

'I wonder if it would not do him good to go out into a garden and watch things growing. It did me good.' 

Science about the  brain demonstrates how when we take our thoughts captive, we can guide our thoughts, retrain the brain. It  can be hard to step up out of the well worn path that we've stayed in so long, but that's where the habit training comes in handy. Developing habits that support a healthy lifestyle- mentally, physically, and spiritually- has  been proven to give the boost needed to make significant desired changes. 

I've got to finish The Secret Garden  to find out what happens to Colin. He has been confined to his room and bed because of a bad back and associated illnesses. I think I remember accurately what happens to Colin, and that he makes a wonder-filled transformation. But, I'm keenly aware that  every story doesn't have a 'happy ending.' Every wounding relationship is not healed, every loss is not reconciled just because we develop a good exercise regime or eat more veggies. That's why habits must include our mental, physical and spiritual health. If I believe ( and I do) that my body and soul belong to the Creator and are intended for His glory, then it is up to me to explore trending terms like growth mindset and  positive habits if it can push me to crowd out old ways of thinking and old habits that do not serve healthy living. 

This is important  to remember tho- No one can make you do this . This is a job for each person to decide for themselves. And the longer we feed the unhealthy thought or action that make up our  habits, the longer it will take to effectively 'crowd out,' or fill with good things. The deeper the rut of travel in the same path, the harder it is to get out of that rut. I'd rather  'Do It Scared,' than listen to the doubter.  Every day is a new day, a gift. Set backs when I falter, are just a set-up for a come-back. Time for me to get moving. 

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... no time like the present.