Forget-me-nots and Polka-dots ~ December 2019

Watching Miss Universe last night was noteworthy in many ways.  The pagentry of all of the costumes representing their countries and their unique cultures was amazing. Miss Ukraine (Eric's family heritage) was stunning, as was the winner, Miss South Africa. So beautiful, truly breathtaking were each of the women who had made it to the world stage to represent their country. What was even more amazing were the accomplishments of each of these women. Some were lawyers, some were spokespersons for profoundly important charitable organizations. In a moment though, they were quick to remind the watcher they were once thought to be unqualified by their ethnicity and dark skin. Dismissed. 

Miss South Africa mentioned specifically just this, while her grace and glamour inspired watching youth of color around the world. She inspired me, this white middled aged mom of Quaker, English decent. 
I knew my sister-in-law Catherene, would be watching. I found myself rooting for Miss Phillippines, knowing 'Cat' would be cheering too. On Thanksgiving, we all went to Jeff and Cat's house and savored her homemade Lo-mein and Spring Rolls, filled with pork and chicken. We had all the customary 'traditional' foods too, but the first to go is always the spring rolls. They were especially tasty as her mother, Conchita, visiting from the Phillipines, prepared them.  Every year brings change, including my nephew  Angelo, reminding me how important it is not to get stuck in the past, but to move forward, with bravery-- if required. We must accept change, and seek beauty where ever it shows up. We must train our eyes to see beauty and opportunity and life!  Our minds will look for safety and familiarity, *even if that familiarity is ladened with grief*, but think of what we'll miss, if we stick to our ruts and never venture out. If there is anything Cat has taught me, it is this-- to venture out. I can't imagine what we all would have missed if she hadn't. 

Jeff and Cat were married very soon after Dad passed from this life.  It would seem, that year, I was starting all over, hanging on more tightly to familiar things, thoughts, moments. Fearful.  Grief does that. I clung to broken ways, fearful methods. Time heals though. I now hear him  (Dad's voice in my mind) cheering every new goal met, every challenge embraced, and most importantly(haha), I hear him asking if there is any left-over Lo-mein. (The man loved tasty foods.) The laughter may rattle the sorrow out of its rut, but its so easy to teeter back into the cavern. 

In June of 2019, I listened to this TED Talk, as about 51 million others did.  

"We don't move on, we move forward."

For a special family occasion, I wrapped presents in polka dot paper, and Cat was so pleased, for in the Phillipines, polka-dots represent joy and happiness. I am reminded again how choosing to see joy in little places is really *our choice.* Attitude is everything, Being gracious to ourselves in our moments of challenge and weakness is vital, but being our own coach to train our thoughts to see beauty is essential. Holding our 'forget-me-nots' while moving forward is the key. 
*I add this today, in honor of Cat's father who just passed this week. There is a time to mourn. Mourning is a part of life. I pray that you feel God's comfort and heal with good memories.