Little Decisions & C.S. Lewis ~ March 2025

 

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Have you ever read Mere Christianity?  I have not. 2nd Quarter Book list has a familiar face. What's on your bookshelf, to be read, or goodreads you've been putting off? 

 

1421 Days, Temptation, and C.S. Lewis - March 2025

BOOK 3, CHAPTER 11, MERE CHRISTIANITY. 

If you've ever read this passage, it likely stuck with you as it has with me. 

A person who has never gone past the first moment of resisting the element of temptation, 'the buffer,' will never know what it feels like to have that memory of success. 

C.S. Lewis is always flipping the stone over to allow the light to get in. 

1421 days #sober on a Thursday in March. Here for it. 



 

Jekyll Island and Valentines - February 2025

Our first visit to Jekyll Island fooled us. A storm had kicked up the waves and we believed we'd found our happiest beach destination. If you know the Georgia Coast, this is quite a wrong impression. It's usually brown and brackish, unpleasant waters with few waves. The view is beautiful, the culture and conveniences delightful, but not a crashing gulf or southern Atlantic tide. 

Fortunately, we are not married to our vacation destinations, AND we are to our spouses. Eric & I were late to our generation's expectation of age-of-marriage. 30 & 31, some of our family believed we never would, but we did. We tied the knot, 3 months after being engaged. We were both gun-shy but I knew he was a good man. My dad did too. They had a proverbial man-to-man and he told my Dad he would be faithful and always take care of me. Dad had good intuition. 

Realtor Prom, Winter 2025 Sanford Stadium, UGA

Eric kept his word. We, together, have kept our vows, commitment to stay together when the path always didn't seem clear. He has been generous with his gifts and talents and made our world one that is enviable. I am forever grateful our paths crossed and intertwined the way they did. 

Here's to however many more years we are allowed to share. Be mine, forever, sweet man. I'm here for it. 

Once Upon a Time, I was a Runner ~ February 2025

 Once upon a time, I was a runner. Well, to be specific, I was fast. I could sprint and win. There's a difference between runners and sprinters, I know that now. But I was young in sports, and it was before there was such pressure on kids to find their passion and excel. 

My best friend, Holly, and I were cheerleaders for a while, then we decided we'd run instead. I remember running down her road, out in the country in February. In Ohio. It's cold in February in Ohio, but we were going to be serious athletes. So we ran in good and bad weather, the off fake-spring and in the blizzard like snow. We ran. 

I really hadn't put it together, but it's likely I could have gone far, metaphorically speaking, running my way through college. It surely wouldn't have been an academic scholarship, but I could have found a way to participate at school. Cecil, my near like sister, had run at both U of F and at WKU, where I later attended school. I had a role model and plenty of influence from both my cousin Greg and Curt. 

But a car accident slowed me down for a season. I was briefly unbuckled, putting on extra socks to go skating and we slid on ice. It was a painful accident, kept me hobbling for a while. I'm sure it worried my parents, but slowly my gait improved and I began to show that things would be normal again. I never officially ran again. I participated, but had moved to another school and high school athletics has rules in place. I wouldn't have time to officially compete to create reason for schools to look at me. 

Fast forward. What do you do with a life experience like this. What thoughts can I build around it that do not waste this life experience in regret. How can I picture this to grow and thrive from it.  For a while, it's been put away. Literally tucked away next to my summer camp first place blue ribbon. But today I pulled that out to. There's a reason to keep scraps of the past. There's a reason to look at it and look at the potential of confidence that could have been. What if.. What if I had gone all the way, and what if my life had been entirely different, driven by athletics and scholarships. What would I have studied, who would I be today. 

Like many young people, I did and would have struggled with 'my passion,' and therefore, perhaps my commitment would have sustained that same level of uncertainty. But today, I'm scooping up that unlocked potential. Metaphorically, I'm gathering up the shoelaces on my spikes and declaring there's more race to be run. 

Andrew Kern of Circe Institute and long time influence in the lives of many Classical Education Enthusiast, recently shared this thought on Substacks. 

I  don’t care what you are passionate about. I want to know what you are committed to. The passion will support your commitment, but only if it passes the test. Passions without commitment come and go like waves and winds. Passions transformed into commitments undergo and overcome like waves that transform rocks to sand. So I take it back: I care what you are passionate about, but only if you are so passionate about it that, when the energy of the passion subsides, the power of the commitment sustains it and, when the power of the commitment subsides, the energy of the passion renews it.

 Be Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy offers brilliant direction and guidance on how to harness this combination. Capturing that energy, even of what ifs of actual experiences gone wrong, can be exponentially powerful. What if I had taken another path, and didn't default into a career that was just within reach, easy. That's a lot of what-ifs. But what I take away is that imagining what can or could have happened can empower the vision right in front of you-- in the NOW.

For now, I'm using the passion and fueling the days with habit and commitment, when the fire isn't burning as brightly. Set a course. Stick with it. Run the race. It's not sexy. It's just following a plan until it begins to fuel the future. It creates confidence-- the memory of success. It's possible. And today, I'm here for it. 

 

Southern Snow and Slow Decorating - January 2025

Are you comfortable in your home? Have you been hanging on to things that don't serve your aesthetic? Yes, we all have an aesthetic. It's kind of like a style, but it's such a compilation of who we are. Maybe you're ready for some change, tired of all the things. But if you pull back all the things at one time, remove the placeholders all at once, you'll be sitting on a box you brought home your groceries in from Costco, and decorating with a gift bag from Christmas. 

I've been culling down items from what feels like the last 30 years. We renovated in 2013, and just yesterday repaired the kitchen range-- for the first time. I say 'we' liberally-- Eric is extremely capable with trouble shooting and repairing. But we both usually go straight to YouTube for tutorials. Yesterday, we looked up cleaning the control panel on the back of our Frigidaire Gallery Range. And one thing led to another and now I basically have a completely refurbished range & oven.  We're now back in the business of cozy cooking for the first Southern Snow of 2025

I have to say, Eric has us ready for power outages, with wood stacked to the fence-tops to be used in our wood stove. It is a key feature seen in our main living space. It's always an energy saver as it warms our entire first floor and well enough on the second, should we need it. He's working on a plan now to hook up our generator if we lose power. 

I'll be sharing more of our 'slow decorating' projects on Instagram, Pinterest as well as YouTube. As I mentioned, we did a big renovation of the first floor in 2012 and finished out our bathrooms on the second floor in 2024. We completed the landing 2023 and will be completing the trim & decorating this year. 

Completing the projects is essential. Closing a chapter, giving time to work on new goals and live life beyond the four walls and within is the goal. For now, I'm doing a little 'look-back' and shoring up my recent changes. 'Richard  Parker,' is here for it. 

Whiteboard, Chalkboard, Build a Bunker ~ January 2025

 I have 2 whiteboards in my home office. One is inspirational and the other is practical. The inspirational one has become a permanent fixture since 2020. I've evolved a bit in my activities since then, but it was the jumping off point and I can't erase what's there. Do you ever feel stuck like that- like you just can't throw that momento away for fear that you'll forget the event or catalyst that inspired it's keeping? This is the feeling to overcome in looking forward to new things. Freeing up space for the new is what frees us to live in a forward thinking manner. 

I've culled and culled this December and January. I've determined not to leave behind piles to be hauled away. I'd rather lovingly haul it away myself, or at least dispose of it ethically. But mostly, it's for my mental health. 

No longer are we just inundated by physical objects, but by the backlog of our e-mail boxes, our Amazon wishlists, and our photos in the cloud. We literally- virtually run out of space and must purchase more 'cloud,' to store our photos we'll only be abruptly reminded of by Google at precisely the most inopportune moment. 

Build a bunker. This is one of the most effective efforts I've embraced while working outside the home. My workspace is small and public. But it's mine and it directs my thoughts and activities throughout the day. So does my home office, my kitchen, our living room. Our living spaces are important. So to that end, I'm reinventing, cleaning and purging after about 12 years of living in this house. I'm loving the guidelines I've found on social media-- 'don't hold onto it for 'someday.' Oh my. How liberating when I realized how many times I've moved certain objects over the course of 30 years. It won't look like a Swedish condominium when I'm done. It will likely still look just as cluttered as when I started to the unknowing eye. But it already feels calmer. I've already disposed of 12 bags, 8 boxes, probably more broken, too small, too big, random, un-needed items. This is how to build a bunker. No matter what the work or activity or feeling-- you have to start by cleaning out. 

 

New Year, Continued Goals - January 2025

 I'm saturated with books, podcasts, and my 'circle of 5.'

I don't think I've ever been more effectively poised to look around and determine a plan & follow the path. 

What I know is the goals are continued, it's just the calendar turned. It's the micro tasks that will create the success in the plan. 

Books I'm currently reading: 

Be Your Future Self Now, by Dr. Benjamin Hardy.

The One Thing, Gary Keller with Jay Papasan.

This is January 2025. I determined to keep the Audible subscription which will cause me to invest in myself with audio as well as the hardback versions. 

Moving forward, I'm going to journal consistently, document small tasks and successes and see what focusing on One Thing will bring to the surface. 

1302 Days Sober

 Quietly, I often hear from friends in the DM's, 'I'm stopping.' 'I'm quitting.' 'I'm done.'  I know instantly they've seen my story/ies and they have decided it's Day 1. Maybe yesterday, maybe last week. Maybe they will have to start over, or maybe they've pushed through to several months. 

It's the holiday season and open bars are everywhere.   Recipes for sparkling drinks are EVERYWHERE , and the stress level is at a fever pitch.        

For me, today is 1302 days. Out of the blue, I needed to know. I saw a friend post 10 years, and considered what that must feel like. Probably alot like 3.5 years.  Stressful, easy, happy, sad. But that magic concoction that helped me , once upon a time, is no longer any part of the equation of peace. 

The 10 Day Alchohol Detox Plan (book) was one of my guides. I had some things in place, but basically I had just had enough. When it matters more to reclaim your life, you'll do whatever it takes. And I did. I did what it took for me. The first days are HARD. How many days are the 'first days'... well, there's a 10, 31, 66, plans. But it all starts with a decision, that no matter how many times you pour it out, you pour it out. It's no longer wasted money, it's ownership. Owning your mess, your chaos, your time, your life. Mindset is everything. Notice I didn't say willpower. 10 Day Detox (book) helped me, among many things, learn to breathe through the craving, both physical & mental, and deal with what was driving the desire to throw away the rest of the day and continue my current state of chaos. 

I don't have a call to action or advice. I'm just celebrating that day 1302 feels good. Today.  Quietly on a rainy Thursday in November. 

 

Memory, Posessions, and What Really Matters ~~ October 2024

 My thoughts have been spurred in a uniquely challenging way after some reading in Joseph Pearce's fine biography of Alexander Solzhenitsyn:  Solzhenitsyn; A Soul in Exile.  

When beginning this book, I searched out a copy of The Gulag  Archipeligo , Solzhenitsyn's extensive and world influencing master work.  It is the record of  his own existence and survival of one of the most challenging efforts to extinguish an entire portion of civilization by one of the most completely corrupted dictators in all history. At a turning point in Solzhenitsyn's life, and thus in Pearce's record, it is noted that he remembered 12,000 lines of his own verse. He had no paper, and it would have been confiscated and he would have been punished for it anyway. This verse he painstakingly remembered would become one of, if not, the most impactful books to alter the course of human experience. This is no exaggeration. 

Censorship and fear had prevented the truth about the camps from being published, but this story made it into print. The USSR would never be the same again.

"We were absolutely isolated from information, and he started to open our eyes," remembers writer and journalist Vitaly Korotich.

Life in the camps was something "it was impossible even to think about" he says. "I read it and re-read it and I simply thought about how brave he was. We had a lot of writers but we never had such a brave writer."

 

Steve Rosenberg, BBC News, Moscow November,2012

Here is my first question: Given the choice, what would I choose to remember? What 12,000 lines of verse would I commit to memory if I had no way to write them down. Is there a thesis you are developing you would share with others about which you felt compelled to carry in your memory? What would it be. 

Second Question: What do you carry out when the water is washing away all of your earthly goods? What do you grab, if you have even a split second, what do you take with you. 

Thirdly, and for this post- last question: What really matters. Reading Solzhenitsyn's writing & speeches tells of his soul searching, what surfaced after seasons of learning, action, and discipline-- self imposed and that by others against his will. What really matters becomes clear when put to the test. Trivial falls away. 

I cannot recommend enough, Joseph Pearce's biography of Solzhenitsyn. 

I believe one must consider and understand what can happen when freedoms are dismissed when control over others is the goal.   Read 'A Day in the Life of Ivan Dinisovich.' And when you are ready for a true study, The Gulag Archipeligo. 

My first reading of A Soul in Exile, 2016, This post published Fall October 2024.

Start with Day 1, Think Progress & Father's Day

 Thinking of and remembering Dad is easy for me. There is not a day I don't think of him and his simple ways and habits. Dad's accomplishments were that of a great culmination of a life well spent, often found in the 'NSV.' Non-Scale-Victory. His ways were quiet but not effortless. Humble but not without impact. Watching him through the years, we were not always aware of his goals so often marked by his personal declaration of 'day 1.' Looking through his personal books and journals though,  you can see, by dates and arrows, exclamations & 3-color ink, that there was an intentional effort toward progress in this unique man and his life's plan.

Some may have referred to him as a professional student. But as a man who chose to provide for his family, classes with names like 'Ancient History, ' and 'Aramaic 201' were to be accomplished in the margins of daily life. I forget if it was 5 or 7 languages he'd studied and became fluent with, but it was the Scriptures he was most well acquainted--the words, the nuances, the translations. He took his time, took notes, took an interest and profoundly progressed through, quite literally, a world of knowledge. 

Ultimately, if someone remembers Dad, most would say he was influential in their lives, and usually for the better. I know he offered, in moments of great need, comfort and guidance, to those who may not have had a friend or a father to converse with. He was someone who listened and offered wise advice, grace and even tough love, when needed. 

Dad did accomplish one of his personal goals, graduating with excellence & highest marks, with a PhD. (Dad and Mom graduated the same year, ages 72 and 71. It was a remarkable summer; they are both remarkable people.) But it all started with the first step. Back at the beginning of his secondary education, and at the beginning of his life's preaching and teaching career, Dad's speech and communications instructor in his undergraduate studies remarked about one of his assignments was 'one of the best speeches I've had in any class.'  I believe by this time, Dad was preaching at Temple Terrace Church of Christ, Temple Terrace, Fl. married to Mom, and Drake on the way. I see this relic of a homework page and take a mental note: 'Day 1, Day 2, Day 3... Day 20,440...' about the number of days from age 20 to 76. 

I'm deeply thankful for my Dad. His notable and simple habits which guided his humble life are those I miss the most. I miss his brilliant sense of humor, but also his serious and deeply wise moments of insight. When I see him dressed in graduation robes, it is the daily, weekly, quieter moments that brought him to that day that I will reflect on just now. It is the finishing of the drill, one more parsing of a phrase, and one more effort to progress daily that I see the culmination of in this particular and profound moment of success for him.  

If death were no barrier-- Today--I would offer my greatest salutations, all the pomp & circumstance one could muster, and beam with smiling face full of pride for the complete man and father that he was. 

Dad upon receiving his Doctorate in Religious Studies. 2013

LKBS 

Father's Day 6/16/2024

Education, Easter and Early Mornings - April 9, 2023

 'No doubt I should have begun hunting a job at once, but I was hungry for books, anxious to be learning, so I rented a room in a small hotel close to the library and divided my time between it and the shelves of  second - hand bookstores close by.' 

Louis L'Amour, Education of a Wandering Man: A Memoir 

'Win the morning, Win the day,' so says Gary Keller, leader in chief of the largest Real Estate Company in the present world, time stamp April 9, 2023. Currently employed there, we spend quite a bit of our days, searching for the key to success-- not just financial, but in all aspects of life. It is not mistake that I enjoy the work I do that is daily shaped by the question, 'what are you reading?' At Christmas, our Market Center owner's, Brian & Marci Fair, graciously bestowed a stack of 10 of the most amazing books upon each of the members of the Leadership Teams from each of their owned KW Market Centers. My current read: 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently was one of those 10 books. A book of lists is not my usual jam, but Marci (who selects the books) knows her stuff-- this book is excellent. Snippets of thought, plugged in like a daily flip calendar. I've been daily reading just a couple of pages at a time. It's excellent. 

I've also been using the Bible App   on my phone to encourage the habit of daily reading. I didn't complete the read-in-a-year program, so I've just gone back and filled in what I missed, days I missed. But sticking with it, just reading. 

The aspect of a daily 'check list' is not lost on me. For years, throughout school, I had a flip steno pad, used as a daily assignment list. It worked. Working full-time now, with technology leading the way, I'm continually challenged, going back and forth between lists I write down and lists I put in my 'Keep' in google. But progress. Working towards efficiency, faster without losing the quality. 

I am reminded that 'We memorize to contemplate, 

Learning moves at a different pace. The concept of learning by heart, memory, internalizing a concept or a precept. But does it? Those who operate and work at high production or at a high level in leadership will tell you, it's the daily habit that defines the trajectory of one's life. Always being in a hurry does not a successful outcome make. The correlations are visible to who knows what concept can be found on what page of the MREA, and on what page the solution can be found in SHIFT. And how we all lean into Atomic Habits. 

Ultimately, we realize, every subject has a liturgy. And if we do not carefully choose the tools we use to measure our learning or consider carefully our ultimate purpose in the learning of a given subject, our efforts may not meet the objective we were ultimately hoping to achieve. Perhaps our objectives are deeper understanding of life, in order to live more in accordance with what God would have us be. Perhaps our objective is to leave a poor choice of habit behind, and our focus must be to eliminate- and we focus on what will fill that void. 

No matter what it is is-- it must have a point where the passion of the soul is stirred, where one must touch the inner most of the mind, and experiences the letting go of the schedule, the list, the box checking. Where one let's go of everything else in order to grab hold of that One Thing. One of the Andrew's describes the common error best:

 'In our rush for output, we skip the non-quantifiable, but essential step of contemplation.'

 And another of the Andrew's(Kern) conversing with Wes Callahan, 

'We memorize to contemplate, not to show off.' 

from 'A Perpetual Feast, 2018. 

In all of the How, the habits, the schedules, the letting go-- I will suggest that the WHAT and WHO matter as well. To be focused just on methodology is lacking if the object of our affection is poorly chosen. To know how we learn best, the depths of our mind's capability and the capacity of our heart- and not KNOW the ONE WHO designed and made us is of the Greatest importance. 

Just because something is old doesn't make it important-- but something that gives greater connectivity to Ancient and Transcendent-- this is the What and the WHO worth our time. 

~~~ 

Today, my mind is skipping about. And that's ok. It is Easter. It is Dad's birthday. It is Sunday. Transitions of life are everywhere. All the memes that speak to me are about aging and gray hair. I enjoy holding my cat and changing out the cute seasonal yard signs like old women do. But the enemy is at the gate, and it is far from time to resign responsibility and purposeful action. The HOW matters. The WHAT is self-evident. The WHO has always been and will always be. 

Keep reading, friends. 

Published 1/26/2024

Saved from the land of unpublished drafts.